I am confused

[Albinoni]

In the past month I have been dating this girl/woman who is chinese and from HK but now here in Australia and on a student visa, shes here studying English, fair enough and I am happy for her to do that. She's also on a 1 year student visa and after that might re apply for another 1 year student visa, see how things go. I know she loves Australia alot and would like to live here as well.

I am her bf now and have been out with her few times, kissed, hold hands, she puts her arms around me and I put my arms around her, put it simply we are a couple now.

But I am confused as whether she truly does like me or is she using me, I dont want to point my finger at her and say she using me and blame her for this and that, until I have proof. But what I do want to find out is if this girl is truly genuine and not just using.

Some point here to make:

1. We have been out togther for about 7 or so times now, prob 8 at max and everytime we have been out Ive paid for lunches, dinners and coffees, now am not sure if
oneday she will offer to pay, what should I do ?

2. When we go out she will hold my hand and also sometims put her arm around me which is nice, but how genuine it is I dont know.

3. Now funny thing is when I took her out few night ago and we were walking in town she allowed me to fully kiss her on the lips as in proper kissing, which was nice. Tonight I took her out for coffee and dinner than I walked her back to her place to keep her company, I went in and had coffee with her or tea, she looked very beautiful
, I tried to kiss her again but she kept sort of being reluctant about it, I am not saying that she refused to kiss me a 100%, but she now and again she jusyt pulled
back and was reluctant and some other times she would, sort of on and off, sorry I am confused.

How can I find out what should I do to find if this girl truly does like me and is serious about me, and what can I do to find out.

Your advice and help greatly appreciated.

Thanks

[Maple1714]

Just ask her...

[Albinoni]

Sorry ask her what ?

[Maple1714]

How can I find out what should I do to find if this girl truly does like me and is serious about me, and what can I do to find out.

Thanks

Ask her what she feels about you. Tell her you really like her and that you are wondering if she also has feelings for you?

[Albinoni]

Ask her what she feels about you. Tell her you really like her and that you are wondering if she also has feelings for you?

I did, and she said that she thinks I am very handsome and good looking, have a good heart, a true gentleman and she likes me. But anyone can say that to keep me close to them, but how true and genuine she is about this I dont know. Also she being asian could be a bit different to that of a westerner, perhaps she's still bit shy, i dont know.

I have promised to take her out for her Bday for dinner and getting her a nice small bunch of moxed flowers as well, but dont want to go overboard. But what I am planning to do after this is No Contact as in place the ball now in her court, dont call her but dont igmore her, pretend I am very busy or have been busy, let her contact me for a change, and see how truly genuine she is.

[cheekxxxs]

So you think cause you pay for some crap, she owns you some kisses and let you touch her when you want??

Not every girl is like those in your culture.

And if she dont want to, she dont! Respect it!

And i agree just ask her if she likes you and get to know her better. Cause maybe you think you have to be like you are with girls in your culture
or like she is any other girl. While every person is different. let alone other culture!

[Maple1714]

Hmmm, well it definitely is frustrating when peoples actions don't line up with their words. So, I say just stick to your plan. Take her out one last time and then leave the ball in her court.

[Albinoni]

So you think cause you pay for some crap, she owns you some kisses and let you touch her when you want??

Pay for what crap? The coffes and lunches I take her out on are definately not crap, ohh FFS woman what BS are you on about, seriosuly. No did I say she owes me kissed, have I mentioned that word "owe" in any of my posts above. Yes she is my gf and yes she has kissed me fully before and right on the lips. What are you trying to think because I take her out and pay for her coffee and dinner I must force her to kiss me, but if she is my girlfriend and shes very fond of me and likes me than yes I do expect that and vice versa. What you have never dated a man before and kissed him, seriously ????

Not every girl is like those in your culture.

Ohh really and did I say that did I, whats my culture you know, well let me tell you what it is, a mixture of Australian, Afghan, Irish and Malaysian, yep and as you can see I also have asian culture in me as well and yes I was born in Malaysia and yes i know alot about asian culture because I have asian blood me and yes I have a held of alot of respect for her. I have never forced myself onto her to have sex and never will I.

And i agree just ask her if she likes you and get to know her better. Cause maybe you think you have to be like you are with girls in your culture
or like she is any other girl. While every person is different. let alone other culture!

Good and I am glad you do, and yes I did and she said she does like me and is keen on me, but how keen I dont know. She did tell me that I was very good looking, handsome and a
proper gentleman. Her English is broken though and shes studyng it here in Australia, and when ever we walk togteher she will pull me close to her and put her arms around me. I dont know probably I am moving to fast and she want to go slow and take this slowly, one step at a time, like they say "Rome wasnt built in a day". Perhaps next time dont kiss her at all but still hold her hands, or just give her a quick kiss on the lips and thats it, dont push or force it, play the game with her, put the ball in her court etc.

[cheekxxxs]

i can see why she dont like you! you are rubbish!

[Albinoni]

i can see why she dont like you! you are rubbish!

Yes I am pure rubbish, thanks, and what did she tell you that I am rubbish.

Anyhow thanks for your compliment woman. :-)

Ohh sorry btw yesterday she told me that she likes me alot :-)

[Boisdevie]

Don't take any notice of Cheekxs. We all think she's in an institiution of some kind and the staff keep forgetting to give her her medication.

[Albinoni]

Don't take any notice of Cheekxs. We all think she's in an institiution of some kind and the staff keep forgetting to give her her medication.

She probably belongs to the womans lib campaign lol