Is this a relationship or a joke

[persina]

Hey everybody,

I have a problem and its been bothering me every day. i am in a relationship with someone,we have known each other for a year and we have been living together a few months now. my problem is idk what this is between us. i see other couples kissing, holding hands, cuddling, doing whatever... saying i love you to each other. we dont do any of that.its been like that for a while now. we do stuff, sometimes with each other, sometimes alone but u would never think that we are a couple. at night we dont even hold each other when we go to sleep. i have tried to talk about it. but he blames it on his medication that makes him numb and makes him not feel shit. what am i supposed to do about that? i do need to feel loved and i do need more than just living with someone that acts like he is my friend. he is a very great man and does a lot for me but as far as love theres nothing between us. what should i do .

thanks

[Boisdevie]

Suggest he sees his doctor to change his medication but perhaps that's an excuse. Just let him know very clearly that you're not happy with the situation and you want changes. BUT he has to know that you're serious about this. If things don't change are you prepared to end what seems like an unhappy relationship?

[persina]

his doctor told him its a matter of time ... that he has to get used to the meds. everytime i try to end it.. he shows affection for a day or two and then it goes back to normal. wtf... plus we live together now shits complicated. he keeps telling me to wait, but how long am i supposed to wait?

[Boisdevie]

If he's able to show affection 'for a day or two' then it's not the meds is it? That's just an excuse. How long are you supposed to wait? Only you can tell but I don't think it's going to get better. My opinion - give him an ultimatum, work out an exit strategy. I used to live with someone. We split up. We no longer live together. It's possible to end relationships that aren't working. Life is way too short for shitty relationships that arent working.

[searock]

Do you have sex or not even that?

[persina]

every now and then... he doesnt try too often. he blames his meds for that too... and its not like i gained weight or anything like that... i work out almost every day and keep myself in shape

[cheekxxxs]

Relationship? and is it love? Find out what that is before you think it is!
Cause it is not a feeling and something temporary that you find in a couple of months or years relationships/
Its something that CAN grow with time.

And i think maybe he is not in love with you anymore.
That is noting weird. happen a lot. best thing is to stop the relationship instead of forcing it.

[persina]

i thought about that too... but he doesnt want to end the relationship. thats what doesnt make sense to me. he even talked about marriage.. ? well anyways thank you all for your advice

[Cerby]

But the question is, are you happy? If you're not, then you're not getting all you want out of this relationship. If he isn't willing to change, it may be time to find someone who is more your style.

[Boisdevie]

i thought about that too... but he doesnt want to end the relationship.

Well tough shit for him because it's obviously not working for you is it? So who do you want to keep happy, you or him?

[lizzy-bet]

He sounds very depressed to me.

[vashti]

What kind of medication is he taking? Antidepressants are well-known to decrease libido, and quite frankly, I believe the only reason most men are affectionate is because they know they won't be getting any tail without it, so if he has no libido, his motivation for cuddling wouldn't be very high.

[Charlie Boy II]

Haha that's not true vash!

[vashti]

...no? Are you trying to say that manly men like to cuddle? lol (even if sex is taken off the board?)