So my girlfriend and I (I'm 25, she's 20) have been going out for going on 10 months. Officially (i.e. facebook, etc) only six months, but we retroactively counted the first three and a half months. I recently told her that I loved her, and this was what she said in a nutshell.
"You're the best thing in my life, you're my best friend, I care about you a lot, and I have strong feelings for you, but I don't want to fall in love, not now or for the forseeable future."
"I don't want to date anyone else, but I want you to be happy."
In response I told her that I didn't need to hear it back, that even though I love her, I'm not exactly looking for a future spouse right now either. My proposal was "if we both have strong feelings for each other (even if mine are stronger), why don't we enjoy this while it lasts?" She's not looking for love, I'm not looking for a wife, so we wouldn't be denying each other anything more than what we have for the time being.
My question is...does she actually not love me? Or is she just afraid to say it/admit it to herself?
Some background:
She's a very kind, giving person (lots of charity work), is very close to her family, not at all into casual dating or partying/sleeping around (she's a virgin). Her last serious relationship ended 3 years ago, but it ended badly (he cheated on her). Her parents divorced when she was in middle school. She's said before that her fear of serious relationships is not due to insecurity, but simply due to her pessimism. On the other hand, this is the same girl that got choked up at her sister's wedding that she brought me too, and enjoys a good romantic comedy every now and then...so she's not completely cynical.
We're meeting tomorrow to figure things out. Because we both enjoy each other's company, and because neither of us want or need anything more, I would rather us stay together until we're forced to break up. Right now I don't feel like we have to. We can live in the moment, without any pressure, expectations (or even labels), and as long as we're good to each other (which we have been for 10 months) I don't see the problem in continuing what we have.
She said that she's almost certain she won't ever be able to say "i love you" back to me, but she was adamant that it had nothing to do with me, and everything to do with her belief that "I don't want to be in love."
She compared her one experience with love to when she ate curry. "I tried it, didn't like it, and I don't want to try it again." The combination of that and then telling me that I'm the best thing in her life and that she doesn't want to date anyone else has me very confused. What should I do?
I know this was long, but I can't seem to find or meet anyone else who has had this specific problem.