Just broke up, I suppose...

[holsie]

So this wasn't a 'relationship' but read on and you'll see why I am posting here...

So for the past few months I have been intimate with a friend of mine. For many complicated reasons, we didn't put a label on it. Unfortunately as we became intimate (we never actually had sex, I cared too much and wanted to take it slow) he began to use me to express all the problems and confusion in his life. Many times he stated he wanted space, with no timeframe. Usually he would be fine a few days later. I found out along the way he had bipolar, aspergers and also lots of serious family problems current and in the past and had a bad relationship a few years ago. He also is a smoker, a very heavy drug user and often drinks too much. Yeah, I know...I should have stayed well away. It's hard though when you care about someone, and find all this out when it's too late.

Anyway, I pushed him when it was one too many times he needed 'space'...he cracked and 2 weeks of anxiety were had, him finally saying he wanted to catch up and explain things to me. He backed out, and I said it was hurting me which he obviously didn't like and just ended things. I got no explanation and tried to get something out of him but was met with multiple texts of abuse and threats. It hurt so much, I had lost my friend simply for caring. I found out a few days ago he seemed to think I thought we were in a relationship...but I knew we weren't. I'm just hurting so much because I trusted and cared for him so much and we got on so well. I miss him so much, and I honestly wish I'd kept our interactions purely on a friend basis There seems to be nothing left, nothing that I can do to be able to speak to him in a rational way. I still am not even quite sure the exact reasons he ended our friendship. I feel so hurt and confused by this, it is almost consuming me. No, we weren’t in a relationship, but I considered him one of my best friends and I’ve lost him and been COMPLETELY cut out of his life.

I still don’t even know if he completely understands that my actions were because I cared for him as a friend. I didn’t want a relationship out of him. It’s like he has a completely different view on the situation, that motivates his actions.

I don’t know what to do. I feel there is no hope but I am so lost

[cheekxs]

What to do about what? you say there is notting so what do you want to do about what?

And why do you do all of that to say there is noting there?
You make your own problems and then act like you are inocent.

For your own safety and self respect as a woman!: You have to be clear toa men
about what you want or stand for.
So you have to clear about the kind of relationship you want with guys.

And start care about your self. instead of keep repeating you care about him.

I think you did everything that was not alike a regular friend.
But you keep telling yourself it was not. Cause you're ashamed of something.

Just be real! It was something but you dont want to confront yourself for what ever reason.

[Cerby]

Another gem by Cheekxs, a post that makes no f*cking sense whatsoever.

OP - Just a lesson to be learned, if you take your friendship to the next level, you're pretty much putting it all on the line hoping that the relationship (or lack thereof) would be successful. It wasn't, and all is lost. Next time you value someone as a friend so much that losing them isn't a possibility, you need to consider not being intimate with them.

Some friendships turn into great relationships, but for the most part dating a friend is risky business.