Should I go?

[Ellecee3]

Hey everyone!

I am in a bit of a predicament. I recently just got out of a 4 year very serious relationship and was completely heartbroken over it. I am now over it but still feel a bit hurt by it all. I have known a guy for a long time and we have been talking, texting and skyping quite often. We hit it off and I feel like we could really make ttthings work. However, the big catch: I
Am from Canada and so does he and just took a job in Pittsburgh. I accidentally confirmed a flight online to a different location and instead of canceling it, he convinced me To go see him in Pittsburgh. So I did.

But now that the trip is so close, I'm having doubts. Is seeing him a dead end? We can't make a relationship
Work being so far away. And lately, his effort in talking to me has dwindled a lot. I know he has had extra weird commitments in which he told me about in advance so I kind of understand but a text takes a few seconds. Anyways, I have a lot of guys after me and I know I'm a catch so am I being kind of desperate flying to see him especially when his interest has seemed to dwindled, a relationship even if the trip is awesome is impossible? I also don't want to chase someone who won't put in the extra effort for me. Not saying he wouldn't but his texts already have dwindled. Anyways, I'm a firm believer in taking chances in love so am I just over thinking a fun trip or is this not a good idea? The trip is only 5 days away
So any help is appreciated

[Ange Barnes]

Is it possible to change the flight to another destination? Long distance relationships can work, but not if one party is half-hearted...
If you are a 'good catch' then let someone else who is deserving enjoy what you have to offer. Intimacy in Pittsburgh will be short-term gain for him and long-term heartache for you.

[Sondos]

First of all, Do what you feel right!
Give him a chance; texting is different then face to face. If you felt that you don't like him, then spend whatever days left in discovering the area. Confider it as a fun trip, and think straight. Don't rush for anything.
Good luck

[IndiReloaded]

I Am from Canada and so does he

LOL, "I am Canadian and so can You".

Sorry to make fun, but made me think of that horrible politico-satire comedian (so bad I can't even recall his name). Anti-Jon Stewart.

Anyway, assuming you know him well enough to trust him, why not go? But make sure you have your own place to stay at (hotel). Don't make yourself dependent on a guy you've never met IRL.

[Ellecee3]

Just a typo. Typed that novel on my iPhone So pardon my mistakes! Haha


I have met him in real life many times. It was just never a romantic thing because I had a long term boyfriend

[cheekxs]

I accidentally confirmed a flight online to a different location and instead of canceling it

Sounds like real bullshit to me. you know what you where doing! right?!

And as a woman i would let him do the big efforts in the beginning especially!
And relationships like this is a mess often. cause while you are being nice and faithful,crying for him , he may be
happy in another relationship. and lying to you that he miss you and feel lonely without you.

So i think if people want to do this long distance thing , it need to be something you do if there is really no other options, and i think that only people that have a stable long relationship already and that have plans to get married or are married can do this(IF THERE IS NO OTHER OPTION) AND WITH A plan and hard work to be together as soon as possible.
So not people that are gambling about the relationship and stuff. cause its a challenge.
and need a lot of trust.
and if you dont have a real strong relationship already (not affection),one with good communication, you knowing how he is when he is mad or happy , what you can aspect from him ,etc. its going to be a mess and end up bad. most of the time i think.

And you still not over your past relationship . that is bad. you need to keep single till you are okay/

cause otherwise you will bring drama of the other relationship to other relationships.Especially
in a long term relationship you need trust.
so if you already start it with old issues, its going to be worse. cause you cant see
him in person so he can fool you.

[IndiReloaded]

Meh. Go, have fun, keep your expectations in check. Life is short.

[Wakeup]

If you're going to go Elle, then go knowing that NOTHING is going to come of this little liaison. It is crazy to think that one visit is going togo anywhere. If you go to bed with him while you're there just consider it a fling and don't be thinking that your vagina is going to garner you a loving, long distance relationship...

If you are not the type that can compartmentalize sex from love then DON'T go to bed with him. Simply go and have fun sight-seeing and shopping. As Indiereloaded has offered, I agree that you should in no way stay with him or depend on him in any way while you're there. Keep your independence and enjoy the trip without expecting anything from him.

[smackie9]

That what this trip is all about.....sex. You are wasting your time and you know it. Time to just back off and say "This isn't going to work out, sorry". Then just move on. Just because you have gotten out of a 4 year relationship doesn't mean you have to jump at the first guy that comes along and give you attention. Your time is more valuable than this guy, so ditch the trip, and save your money. Don't let your emotions dictate your actions to chase a false hope. Find a guy locally next time. I would refund the ticket and find a GF to plan a fun trip with to Vegas instead.

[IndiReloaded]

Stephen Colbert. I just remembered the guy's name.