Originally Posted by
MaidenMinx
You didn't leave it long enough.
Abortions can screw with womens heads for years. I know, I've had one. The ex and I didn't end up lasting. There were another 2 years together after the abortion, though that was because I felt obligated to stay for many reasons. We fought like cats and dogs. It was horrible. He didn't want me to abort, I refused to have a child before 21. I was 19 and insisted that I would be the first woman for many generations on my mothers side, to make it to my 20's before having a child. He was so wonderful and caring while I was pregnant (that was an insanely horrible 10 weeks for me physically), and then as soon as I had the abortion he changed, and so did I. I didn't know how much it would hurt, how empty I would feel. It wasn't until I read Still Life with Woodpecker (Tom Robbins) that I found the words to explain how I felt.
"...They can scrape my heart, they can scrape my brain before they'll scrape my uterus again. It's been over a year since my last D and C (abortion) and I still feel raw in there. It feels bitter when it should feel sweet, it feels ragged where it should feel smooth, it feels deep purple when it should feel pink. (now the following is the bit that made me cry for an 1/2 an hour when I read it) Death has thrown a stag party in the most sacred room in my body. From now on, that space belongs to life" - Princess Leigh-Cheri
Abortions are so painful. Even talking about this now, with my nearly 8 year old son in the next room - whom I had when I was 24 - I still feel the pain of that termination over a decade a go. It's something that I had to do (my ex was well and truly screwed up and I knew I didn't want to have a child with him at that point in time) and I thought I was fully prepared mentally and emotionally but I wasn't. I think your ex might be in just as much pain, and seeing you possibly bought some of it to the surface.