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I really need some help here
So I started dating this girl 2 months ago, we had protected sex recently.
When I was with my ex, she wanted to have unprotected sex with me because there wasn't a condom availble at that time and I expressed my fear how I'm scared if I may get infected, I know I was a little blunt and she thought I thought of her as a whore. Those definitely weren't my intentions and things went down the hill from there onwards and she became my ex.
This current girl has had 3 boyfriends in the past and she's told me she's had only 3 sexual partners in the past, she also told me how she was a big mess in her teen years. I don't know since I was a kid our teachers would warn us again and again of STD's. Now I'm not sure how to ask her to get mutually tested with me? We are fairly new and I don't want this relationship to end like my last one. I just don't know how to go about it and it has been bugging me from inside. I don't think she is a whore or else I wouldn't be with her, but... argh. She looks healthy but I want to be sure. Is this too soon to ask her to get mutually tested for HIV? I'm pretty stupid when it comes to these things;hence the reason why I'm posting here, maybe I can use a smartone here.
any helps suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
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I would say keep using a condom and wait for your relationship to get a little more serious before you approach her about getting tested.
Or you can try to subliminally plant the idea in her head. Maybe watch "Philadelphia" or other movies about aids, or leave a magazine laying around open to an article about STD's. Or you can tell a story about a friend of yours who caught something from a girl he thought was clean. Try to make her come up with the idea of the two of you getting tested, and then you don't have to worry about offending her.
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Yes, continue to use a condom and then just ask. It's ok to ask!! Tell her you do not mean to offend her in any way and that you just want to make sure you guys are both clean so you can lots of unprotected sex!
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Subliminal messages could be misread into hints that you have an STD. Not the message you want to convey.
If you want to move away from condoms, then have an adult conversation with her on the subject. Get tested together and then make the decision together.
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@OP. I'm guessing you are both quite young and not ready for kids ?
Best to stick to the condoms for now. Otherwise, you both need to get tested AND she needs to be on birth-control.
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well it's a very good question.
And I have thought about how to deal with that exact same issue myself. It's not exactly a romantic thing to say : "We really need to go to the doctor and get a blood test done, and get checked for aids, cause it's serious and deadly disease ! "
so the condom is ok to use, and bring it up in a nice way, and plan something like you go out to a park or to dinner or something after the test.
It is a tricky situation, but in a way your life depends on it, so you got to do it. Even if you make her feel bad or cause a problem or whatever, it could save your life.
yeah that's the way to do this! I just got it. You go to a doctor together to "ask about some questions you have " , just for a talk with the doc. (together with her) and then the doctor explains to you both how important it is to get tested, and then she will say, "ok, fine lets get tested"
then the secretary sets a date for the test, and that's it. You will get a phone call the day before the test, and then you go in the next day , and get the test done, and you did it !
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