Complicated situation, need help here..(A bit long)

[Lakalia]

So here we go...To start off,I was dating my previous for almost 2 years,I've known him 4 years prior to that we were best friends. During the summer my ex and I didn't see each other very often, I don't know why but I suppose we were both busy, During those two months I began to feel like I was in a awkward state of mind and just thinking things differently, and felt like my ex and I lost the spark in our relationship...So I ended things. I admit I did it in a immature manner because I didn't rationalize everything correctly, as I said I don't know what the f*ck was going on with me. We were broken up for a couple weeks until some sense finally knocked into my head and I realized what the hell I did and that I just left the love of my life.

So that's when the new semester started for this year (we go to the same college) and upon seeing him at school everything just hurt me so much and I needed to make things work with him, I felt empty, I needed my other half. So the second day of school went by and that's when I gave in and texted him, here's basically how the messages went.

Me: Hey there, How are things?
Him: Is this Cindy? (me)
Me: Yes.
Him: Hii. Sorry I got a new phone, What's up?
Me: It's all good. I was just thinking of you and wondering how you were..
Him: I've been okay..you?
Me: I'm alright.
Me: Hey can we meet up after school? And talk in your car?

That's when he agreed to and drove back to the school to pick me up to talk (he gets out earlier than I do), so then we talked. Basically I confessed to him I regret breaking up with him and I truly regret it all and if I could take it all back I would. We ended up locking lips a few times and holding hands, basically he told me he didn't know what to say, he basically feels the break up changed him in a way, I suppose "spiritually" changed but not all in that sense. He told me that he really just needs some time to think about all of this. He had asked me if I was talking to any other guys (which I wasn't) and I told him no, as I also looked him in the eyes and asked him if we was as well with other girls and he said no he promises he wasn't. He asked me 3 times "Why'd you break up with me..?" and it breaks my heart so bad because if I would've never done it we would have still been together..I feel horrible. I do trust in what he says because he never ever lied to me in our relationship, he was always honest and sincere, he's a very genuine guy. He did tell me if he didn't want to be with me he'd tell me straight up..The problem is he's one of those people if he wants something, he doesn't show it, he's a very monotonous guy and shows very little emotion at times, I had the honor to see every emotion he had when we were dating.

That was about a week ago when we talked and since then we've made very little contact really, he hasn't tried to make much contact with me except for playfully tapping me on the shoulder at times at school. The other day I saw him at school and asked how he was..he hugged me and said he was doing fine and we talked very shortly as I did tell him.. "We need to talk more.." and he replied "I know I know...I just need some more time to myself."

At this point, I don't know what to do, I DO want to get back with him so bad, I don't know how long I should give him,I don't want to move on,I'm not interested in anyone at this time But I was told by a good guy friend that "the ball is in his court, so it will take as much time as he needs." The only bits of hope I have is his good friend told me he feels he will come around, but to just give him time. I just keep dwelling on this so much, I made a huge mistake and now I'm paying for it, I've been really upset and unmotivated for the past few weeks now.

To add: We never had any problems in our relationship, we barely fought and if we did it was over something stupid. We had good sex but our relationship was barely base off of that, our relationship was mostly based off of the love and bond we had for each other, We had so much in common, pretty much everything. (Music, Perspectives, Videogames, Personality, etc.) I just can't think of anyone else for me that was as perfect as he was.

I want to thank everyone in advance...Sorry if I tend to babble but I just wanted to get most of the details out here.

[cheekxs]

School and bf I dont think its notting serious. You are there for the lessons.so get it done. Its over move on.
You are just in the healing process.so dont need to go back.