What do I tell her?

[NiceGuysFinish]

It's a bit of a story, but please bear with me.

It started sometime last winter during my freshmen year of college. I met a girl I thought was really cute and naturally was interested in her. We started talking a lot and I felt a connection with her. However, I soon found out that she had a boyfriend and it made me a bit disappointed, but I decided I'd still be friends with her since we had some things in common and she seemed to enjoy talking with me. She also asked me for help with a lot of class related matters.

Of course, as we grew closer she began to talk to me a lot about her boyfriend issues. She was still in a relationship with her boyfriend from high school and she was dealing somewhat of a distant relationship. As her friend, I did my best to comfort her and told her to give it time and to talk to him about what bothered her. Although I still had feelings for her, I just wanted to be a good friend.

Eventually she began to suspect how I felt about her and she avoided me for a long period of time. I was rather sad, but I decided I should just move on. She was "off limits" anyways so there's no point in holding on right? Then one night she contacts me and she really upset. There's so many issues with her boyfriend and she can't take it anymore. I told her to talk it out with him and give it more time. It was almost summer so I told her that perhaps things would get better then. She said she'd think about it and she stayed with him.

I tried to get over her during summer, but she continued to talk to me. Eventually we began talking about her relationship again, and there were still issues. Again, I gave her the same advice: talk to him and give it time.

I got tired of this and decided it was time to move on... again... So I stop talking to her for a while.

Then there's an update on Facebook. She's "single."

Not knowing how to react, I ask her if she's okay. She say's she's okay, but we start talking a lot more, more than usual. She seems suddenly interested in spending time with me. I don't know how to feel about this since I think she just broke up and I don't want to rush things into some kind of rebound relationship.

Then I finally find out that she's technically still with him.

There's so many issues in this relationship: he doesn't trust her, he thinks she's lying sometimes, it bothers her when he drinks a lot on certain occasions, she's afraid to confront him about her issues, she's afraid of holding him back from the things he likes, he has a short temper and it bothers her when he's angry, it is difficult for them to communicate since he's very extroverted and she's really quiet and shy, often leaving them in awkward silence.

I feel like avoiding her, trying to cut her out of my life. I can't take it anymore. This cycle keeps eating away at me, and I can't sleep.

I care about her a lot. I want her to be happy, and I want what's best for her. I just don't know what to tell her anymore. I want to be a good friend, but at the same time I'd like to be with her so that I can make her happy. She means a lot to me, and I don't know if she knows that.

What do I do? What do I tell her?

[IndiReloaded]

She's emotionally needy. You care for her as more than friends. Intolerable situation, just read all the 'friend zone' posts on this site.

Its clear she's been venting to you since you know a lot about their relationship. Back off, see other girls, enjoy yourself. It was nice of you to ask her how she is doing, but its also like cocaine to a desperate woman (and could actually delay their breakup!). Let her sort herself out and then make contact. Beware being the rebound guy, tho.

There's nothing wrong with your feelings, btw, but you know acting on them at this time is inappropriate. Until she truly breaks off w/this guy, you need to step way back.