On a road trip and the sexual tension is driving me crazy!

[IndiReloaded]

I don't think I've seen you use "yep" twice in a post before Indi, I kinda like it

You're just reading too much in to what I'm saying, maybe on purpose

If two well adjusted, very compatible people are having a great relationship and it feels natural to take the next step, then it's time to take the next step. No real mystery to figure out. No one is playing games. You both know each other, should know that you're not getting played and let the relationship develop as it flows. There's no difference of opinion, you should be on the same page together, no?

By artificially inserting a timetable, I'm referring back to this thread and the OP. She stated he was the perfect gentleman. I quoted how she felt about him, how insanely bad she wanted him. Then she comes back and said "It happened, it was perfect" etc., something along those lines. Everyone assumed they had sex, then she came back and said, "oh no, no sex, I cut him off to see if he'll be interested after the reception"

Well, since I have to interpret, I'm going to say that there was hard cock and wet pussy involved. Doubtful that it was felt through a clothing barrier. Now to me, my cock buried down your throat and your ass and pussy grinding over my mouth is a bit more intimate than slipping on a condom and drilling you from behind. So, I don't know what happened, but "it happened" and it was amazing". Not sex, because she cut it off. To me, that's baseless logic. What she is or was trying to accomplish is pointless now.

THAT I interpret is an artificial timetable or milestone. She gushed on and on about the guy, how hot he is, how much she wanted him, what a perfect gentleman he was. She made the decision to offer it up (who knows how much) then she backed off and said, no let's wait till Saturday or whatever. To me, that is just plain stupid. If I were the guy, I'd think she was a head case or loaded with emotional baggage and back off. Not because I didn't get laid, but because I want someone to be real with me.

Bad game she played imo. She should have just kept a respectful distance physically and let it progress. I think she is insecure and wanted to test the waters. Not an impressive trait in a woman, at least to me.

Okay Haxan, I agree. Lets find another thread to argue about. btw, its 'yep', b/c I'm on holiday. Come Tuesday, I'll be all Yes, Maam, Sir again.

[haxan]

btw, its 'yep', b/c I'm on holiday. Come Tuesday, I'll be all Yes, Maam, Sir again.

Just checkin'. Wasn't sure if I'd catch ya on the next episode of Hillbilly Handfishin' or something

[searock]

Haxan, she said he was the perfect gentleman and that it happened and it was perfect. When she said "it happened", she was referring to "he finally made a move, so now I know for sure that he's into me as well". "It was perfect" means that she felt like they had chemistry, and it was overall very enjoyable. It doesn't meant that she felt comfortable enough to have sex with him, so she didn't do it. Whatever the reason was, the fact is that she preferred to wait. If he's interested enough, he'll wait too - otherwise, he won't and she will have dodged a bullet.

[Lovethesun]

Then she comes back and said "It happened, it was perfect" etc., something along those lines. Everyone assumed they had sex, then she came back and said, "oh no, no sex, I cut him off to see if he'll be interested after the reception"

All I meant by that was that he kissed me, so then I knew he was interested as well. We MADE OUT, people.
I didn't realize I had to go into specific detail as to what we did or did NOT do. Lesson learned, I suppose.

Well, since I have to interpret, I'm going to say that there was hard cock and wet pussy involved. Doubtful that it was felt through a clothing barrier. Now to me, my cock buried down your throat and your ass and pussy grinding over my mouth is a bit more intimate than slipping on a condom and drilling you from behind. So, I don't know what happened, but "it happened" and it was amazing". Not sex, because she cut it off. To me, that's baseless logic. What she is or was trying to accomplish is pointless now.

Wow, you are SO off, it's not even funny.
There were NO bodily fluids exchanged. I wouldn't go as far as that, then "cut it off". You're right: that WOULD be stupid and pointless.
All we did that night was make out, clothes on. (BTW, unlike Bill Clinton, I consider oral sex to be sex).
And you know what? I don't regret a moment of it.
It was exciting and fun. As smackie9 said, the buildup of desire is damn hot. Why wouldn't people want to experience that instead of just jumping into the action right off the bat and ending it prematurely?

At any rate, if that's why most of the guys in here are all up in arms over me "stopping it", then you can all just relax. That's not what happened. I should've been clearer in that post, but I was a bit rushed so didn't have time to clearly express myself.

[HDBadger]

OP, if you simply aren't comfortable having sex with this dude yet, you are absolutely doing the right thing. But. If there is attraction between you two, and you are just holding out to somehow "screen" him or build sexual tension, or somehow trying to make yourself more attractive, I guarantee you this situation is going to blow up in your face.

I can't speak to how women feel/think in these situations. But I can speak to how most sane, intelligent guys feel. And trust me, your guy, OP, is getting frustrated. If you're cool with that, then keep doing what you are doing. You went on a two-week road trip, spent nights in the same hotel room, talked about every topic under the sun, but the farthest you've gone is what most eighth graders do on their first dates. Again, if you simply aren't comfortable getting naked with him, it's totally cool. But if you want to bang this guy, and are setting up arbitrary barriers because you think it will somehow help in the long run, you are in for a rude awakening.

As a guy, I'm telling you, in all honesty: Your actions aren't attractive to him. It's not turning him on. It's not making him want you more. A confident woman acknowledges that she digs a guy, then goes for it. She doesn't set up obstacles to progress. And that's what you are doing. You purposefully withholding sex - if that's what you are doing - doesn't make him respect you more. It just makes him think you're immature, not confident, and don't know exactly what you want.

[Lovethesun]

OP, if you simply aren't comfortable having sex with this dude yet, you are absolutely doing the right thing. But. If there is attraction between you two, and you are just holding out to somehow "screen" him or build sexual tension, or somehow trying to make yourself more attractive, I guarantee you this situation is going to blow up in your face.

I can't speak to how women feel/think in these situations. But I can speak to how most sane, intelligent guys feel. And trust me, your guy, OP, is getting frustrated. If you're cool with that, then keep doing what you are doing. You went on a two-week road trip, spent nights in the same hotel room, talked about every topic under the sun, but the farthest you've gone is what most eighth graders do on their first dates. Again, if you simply aren't comfortable getting naked with him, it's totally cool. But if you want to bang this guy, and are setting up arbitrary barriers because you think it will somehow help in the long run, you are in for a rude awakening.

As a guy, I'm telling you, in all honesty: Your actions aren't attractive to him. It's not turning him on. It's not making him want you more. A confident woman acknowledges that she digs a guy, then goes for it. She doesn't set up obstacles to progress. And that's what you are doing. You purposefully withholding sex - if that's what you are doing - doesn't make him respect you more. It just makes him think you're immature, not confident, and don't know exactly what you want.

Although I like the guy, and I'd LIKE to have sex with him eventually, fact is, I'm not ready for it yet. I've known him for 2 weeks. Yes, we get along and yes, we had a great time. But I'm not THERE yet. I'm not setting up obstacles or trying to make myself more "attractive". I've had time to think about things since my original post and I now realize I was just damn horny, for lack of a better term. If I had gone through with it at the time, I would've regretted my actions as that's not something I normally do. (not to say there's anything wrong with women who DO, that's just MY preference).
Yes, I did admit I wanted to see how he would act around me at the wedding. We spent the majority of the evening together and had a great time. We tried to have a few moments alone last night, but there were tons of people around all the time. We haven't been alone together for more than 5 minutes since Wednesday night. We've been focusing on celebrating our friends, as that's the reason why we're here in the first place.
We've already made plans to get together when we fly back home tomorrow and I want to get to know him in the real world, so to speak. These past few days have been a whirlwind and I've been so busy with other things, I guess it gave me a chance to think things through.

[IndiReloaded]

You seem very sensible, Lovethesun. Hope you had a great time at the wedding and kudos on knowing your mind wrt this guy.

[HDBadger]

Then good luck to you, OP. I agree with the above, you seem to be sensible. I hope things work out for you.

Communication is key. Remember, he's a guy: What's going on in his brain could - and probably is - be very different from how you see the situation.

[Wakeup]

I agree with that 100%, however there's not an endless timeline. If the temperature is not continuously on the rise, it will become boring.

I'm not sure where you read that Op (or any of us for that matter) has said that the sexual buildup has been "endless" or that we are agreeing to such a thing.

Women like sex just as much as men and I don't know one woman who would want an endless buildup without it coming to fruition. We're talking about two weeks of knowing someone and one make-out session.

Originally Posted by haxan
If two well adjusted, very compatible people are having a great relationship and it feels natural to take the next step, then it's time to take the next step.

No one is arguing that either. The key is when they both think it feels natural and they are both ready to take the next step.

[smackie9]

Ya I didn't know 2 weeks was considered as "endless"

[IndiReloaded]

LOL, nice Wakeup. La voce d'esperienza.

Has Haxan ever admitted defeat on this site yet? He may have to.

[haxan]

So last night it happened: I don't know why the hell he waited so long but I no longer wonder if he feels the same way

Two glasses of wine at dinner, but trust me, I didn't "have to" have anything.
Believe it or not, even though what happened was AMAZING, I stopped it before we actually "hooked up". He respected that (I know, I know... what the f*@k am I doing, right?)
I want to stick to my original plan and see how he acts around me during the wedding. If he ends up blowing me off, then I'll know what his real motive was and I can move forward and forget about him. If not, then I have no problem continuing where we left off.

Well, I think we all agree on the fact that a relationship should progress naturally.

I don't agree with the OP's game plan. First off AMAZING is how a 12 yr old describes kissing, not 20 something's. Listen, they didn't "hookup", and I don't expect her to go into any detail on here (which is why I did) But if you think that by the way she described it, that they simply kissed, well then what can I say. May not have been any 'exchange' of bodily fluids, but well...

Second, she had zero intention of fostering any sexual tension or buildup. That was the OTHER GIRLS idea. Ya, I think it's a good one, but the OP was cognizant of it. She went along with the thought process only after you girls suggested it.

Her plan was simply to put her body out there to see if he'd bite (literally) and if so, to make him wait a few days to see if he sticks around before she lets him drill her. There's zero logic to that. Stupid plan, with no effect on if he'll stick around or not. She should just let things develop how they develop. Learn how to use good judgement and common sense. In the future I hope she does, and doesn't play games that in her mind will ensure someone sticks around.

Dumb logic, plain and simple. I realize not everyone has great people skills, are easily fooled, have poor judgement etc., if so you have to work a bit different, I get it. Don't think that was the case here, she's just playing silly junior high games.

Lovethesun, no one cares personally if you sleep with him or not. I want YOU to be happy and safe. I'm just giving you some food for thought moving forward from a man's perspective. Use your good judgement, trust your instinct, let your relationships develop naturally. Trust your gut, because it may cost you a great guy someday because you're waiting to have sex after your cousin's birthday party. Not because you aren't ready, but because you think it might help him stick around. Not only doesn't it matter, there's no logic in that sweetie.

[haxan]

Has Haxan ever admitted defeat on this site yet? He may have to.

If I do, do I get something special?

(couldn't resist)

[Wakeup]

it may cost you a great guy someday because you're waiting to have sex after your cousin's birthday party. Not because you aren't ready, but because you think it might help him stick around. Not only doesn't it matter, there's no logic in that sweetie.

... lolzzz ...

[Lovethesun]

She had zero intention of fostering any sexual tension or buildup. That was the OTHER GIRLS idea. Ya, I think it's a good one, but the OP was cognizant of it. She went along with the thought process only after you girls suggested it.

You're so sure of that, aren't you? I'm the one who said that if nothing happened by the end of the trip, I would be the one to approach him. And I didn't need anyone to suggest it.

Her plan was simply to put her body out there to see if he'd bite (literally) and if so, to make him wait a few days to see if he sticks around before she lets him drill her. There's zero logic to that. Stupid plan, with no effect on if he'll stick around or not. She should just let things develop how they develop. Learn how to use good judgement and common sense. In the future I hope she does, and doesn't play games that in her mind will ensure someone sticks around.

I realize that making someone wait "a few days" isn't going to make him stick around. Like I said, I admit at first I wanted to wait until after the wedding. But that fell to the wayside once I spent some time away from him and cleared my head. I'm not doing the "waiting" thing, and haven't considered it since we arrived. Meaning, I'm just going to see where/how/if this develops. I got caught up in an unusual circumstance and let my hormones get the better of me. I don't usually react that strongly to someone upon meeting them and it caught me off guard. A defense mechanism came up as a way to protect myself from getting hurt. Would it REALLY protect me in the end? Not likely, no. But it was the only thing that stopped me from making a potentially regrettable mistake.

Use your good judgement, trust your instinct, let your relationships develop naturally. Trust your gut, because it may cost you a great guy someday because you're waiting to have sex after your cousin's birthday party. Not because you aren't ready, but because you think it might help him stick around. Not only doesn't it matter, there's no logic in that sweetie.

LOL... I seriously doubt I'll miss out on a "great guy" just because I didn't f*ck him right away...

Regardless, it's because I trusted my instincts that I DIDN'T do anything. Hopping into bed with him would be going against my good judgment. I don't get why that's so difficult for you to comprehend? I'm glad nothing happened. I was infatuated and wasn't thinking clearly. I want to pursue this as I would any potential partner and take it easy.
I'm definitely interested to see if this leads to anything substantial. I'd like it to. But, at this point, I'm not ready too sleep with him. Plain and simple. If you don't believe me, then so be it.

First off AMAZING is how a 12 yr old describes kissing, not 20 something's.

My apologies! What I meant was, "extraordinary", "dazzling" and "exceptional"! Or, as the 12 yr olds call it these days... it was "sick"