Gonna need some advice from you all, pls help

[silliy S]

ok... here is my problem .. i love a girl with a boyfriend lol.. i know is wrong but my feeling toward her are very strong... it can't be help.At first we are good friend but when time fly we come to a relations of part time gf and bf not that kind of sex partner just we do all couple thing should do like feeding me eat,lying on her shoulder calling her honey or darling etc but we dont kiss, hug or even hold our hands.We keep this relation for some time but thn i begin to realise i love her too much.. when she is with her bf i will jealous and my heart will pain...i starting to question myself does she love me ? because from the start to part time bf all action is done by me i mean i am the active one, somehow every time i say love you or what she wont reply me or i dont know why everytime i say good nite she wont reply .I know she too have feel towards me.. i ask her before do you like me ? and do you have feel towards me ? she avoid the question a few time but lastly she answer yes. But if she love me i dont know why she so passive i understand she have a bf but if u have bf u should not have feel toward me and treat me good like feeding me and let me call you honey or darling .. this is all too over for normal friends. .... maybe we are both wrong...so lately i was protecting myself from getting hurt by her.. cause somehow some moment i very need her she just wont be there for me and i will sad and emo for nothing or sometime she and bf was so sweet that hurt me very much ... so i was protecting myself by locking up my feeling to wards her . I do ignore her as much as i can. even last time we usually everyday chat together i stop chatting her for few days..thn i though i was able to control my feeling towards her...cause i just tell myself she just care about her bf and if i leave her she wont care or even just ignore it..But i was wrong .. one days she msj me say that she miss me .... what happen to me ? why keep avoiding her... this is the first time she is the active one who say miss me...i though i was wrong that she will not concern if i leave her but when i try chatting with her like usual she just become the old she ... become very passive and dint care much about me... Actually i am a simple guy.... i just need her concern and care .. i just wanna hear she love me or she miss me but she dint tell me once except for the last time....so any advice for me ? should i continue with the relationship? or stop ? or ask her what ? or tell her what i feel ? or??? can anyone pls help me!!! i really need help from you all ..thanks

[lovemuffin]

I would just tell her "Look I really like you but I can't be around/invovled with you anymore because you are already in a relationship with someone else" I would think if she really likes/loves you and wants to be with you she will break it off with him.

[PatrikIvarsson]

I agree with above poster. She needs to decide who she want to be with, and if that is not you then break it off and go out there and find a girl that likes you as much as you like her. It is always easier said then done I split with my girlfriend three weeks ago but already been on dates with 2 girls since then. The world is full of them!

[silliy S]

>< i think she will love her bf much more than me since they know each other long time ago but they only start their relationship half year ago.. At first i though she just play with me and i have no chance since i know she love her bf very much.. but after i ask her i only realize she have feel towards me... should i follow your suggestion ? or you have a better one suggestion ?

[silliy S]

to patrik ivarsson ... hmm i dont know.. i scare there will be an akward situation between us since we are in the same class... and i really dont want to loose her by this momment T.T

[lovemuffin]

I'm not sure there is any other option than you getting a little attention from her now and then... like scraps from the dinner table. Is that really what you want? I would do what I advised.

[PatrikIvarsson]

Well I would say in the end it will end bad if you just tag along with this. You will have these feelings for her as long as you/her keep eachother around. They don't go away, you need to process and move on(if you decide to do so). You don't need to put it straight forward like "Hey, I'm kinda in love with you, who do you want to be with?", but instead ask her how she feels about you, I do feel there is a big chance of you being in her friendzone. I learned from experience that the best way to not get there is to move to atleast a kiss within 2 dates moving it along from there.

Also do remember there is a difference in how you say things, I can tell someone I miss them, and simply mean I miss thier company, smile jokes etc. and then there is "I miss you" as in I'd want to have you here and coudle/sex whatever. It's in the voice so very hard to read from say chat or texting.

Ypu are afraid to lose her, and yes that is a possibility, but I think i'd rather let one go and move on then tag along and never be happy. ofc it does complicate things that you are in the same class, but m,aybe you can say some things along the lines of "Hey, I like you a lot, and ahve developed these feelings for you, I know you have a boyfriend so I think it's best if we don't see eachother outside of class", also if you decide to do this, ask your teacher to not put you in the same group if you have groupwork.

to conclude, if you don't ask you never know, and rejection that is a possibility in all the world of relationship and dating is thought, and it does get easier with time, but it is always though.