I've had this female friend for the past 2+ years. We've known each other for the past 5 years. She contacted me out of the blue looking for advice about her boyfriend (now ex) 2 years ago when we first started becoming friends. She never really took my advice. Anyways, they broke up about 9 months ago. She started to grow on me a lot long before this but I wasn't going to act on it. Just a side note, she used to always tell me that her other friends weren't really good friends at all so she could never "talk" to them or trust them for that matter. Anyways, her older cousin finally talked to her and got some sense into her head and she finally moved on from this ex...even though I gave her the same advice. Fast forward to the end of May. She was telling me about this guy she likes who lives 700 miles away. Then randomly, she told me she also had a crush on me. At first I was shocked, then really excited, and then 2 weeks later I told her I don't want to just be an option because it's just too hard. Anyways, our friendship took a huge blow. I mended things when I said let's forget any of that even happened, but it was hard for me to turn my feelings off just like that. It didn't feel like we were back to our old friendship either.
She left for another country for the summer break to be with her relatives. A week before she left we were at a concert and she was making out with a random dude. I got really jealous. Her Twitter was blowing up from her horrible friends she always told me about saying, "yay you're finally a sl*t, get it in!" and telling her to hook up with more guys and garbage like that. The reason I liked her so much as a friend (and more) was because she was the exact opposite of this. She had good morals and a strong head on her shoulders. She didn't even care that she hurt my feelings until 4-5 days later when she finally apologized. She always said she didn't want to kiss just anyone and that she was waiting for the right person etc etc and I loved that about her. Well now she talks to these other friends all the time, referring to them as best friends, and I feel like I don't even matter that much. They are horrible examples and I know it. I get so down knowing that she's changed in a matter of weeks. It's like she's trying to please these friends for no reason. It gets me so upset and it feels even worse that there's nothing I can do about it. I tried talking to her about it but it seems like she's built up a wall against me. She doesn't talk to me like she did before she moved me out of the friend-zone and forced me back into it. I guess these "other friends" have replaced me. She left the country 3 weeks ago for 2 months and the Friday after she left she was able to get on Skype...we were talking and all of a sudden she ignores me for 30 minutes. I looked at her Twitter and it said, "yay finally skyping with ******(bad influence friend)!" So I just signed off. That's the last time we talked.
I haven't talked to her in more than a month now and she randomly liked a picture I put on Instagram. I tried not to over think it but right after I posted a picture she posted a picture that she labeled, "Cousin playing with my Ted" (the teddy bear I got her before she left). I guess nice guys really do finish last and on top of it, I lose a great “post-May” friend.
It was now about 2 months since we last talked and I wrote her a letter last week. All I did was basically thank her for her friendship, as it meant a lot to me. She wrote back a few days later telling me I'm a great person, how she wants the best things in life for me, and that she wishes me to be happy. She also said she's just at a confusing point in her life right now. In which I replied, thanks, best of luck with everything.
Okay, so why does that mean ignore me for 2 months? I never did anything mean to her, I was there for her when she needed someone the most. Now here I am, without one of the greatest people in my life anymore. Why is it that I lose out? I've deleted her from Skype/FB/Twitter/Instagram to help me move on. The only way she can now contact me is through email or text/call. I have a bad feeling she never will. The worst part is, I can't stop thinking about her and the great times we had and why this happened. It's literally making me go crazy. She used to be such a genuine person and this whole thing is making me so depressed. Was it something I did? Was it something I didn't do? I hate this empty feeling. I'm really beat up from this.
I so lost. I don't even know what to do anymore Please help