Do I have to have a valid reason to break up.?

[koolzero]

My g/f, that i've been living with for six months, went away to see her parents this past week, and It's been wonderful being alone and "single" again. Prior to this I've thought about breaking up because I just don't feel attached any more and I just miss being independent and not feeling like I have to ask permission to do stuff.

She sometimes talks about getting married and having kids and at first I was okay with this but now it's scaring me and I'm feeling like I'm just not ready for all of that.

I feel extremely guilty for feeling this way. Do I need a valid enough reason to want to break up? Now that she's not here it's wonderful being able to do what I want to do and not getting nagged about the stupidest things. And I just don't feel like we're compatible anymore.

Btw I'm 26 years old.... It's so extremely hard for me to breakup with someone, it will probably be even harder since we're living together and she has all of her stuff here, but I don't want to stay in a relationship and be miserable so I guess I have to do what is best for me..

I feel like a jerk, any advice is appreciated.

[Steve2004]

....if you dont have strong feelings anymore..why would you stay with her..you dont need a valid reason to want to break up..you want to. that's reason enough. i mean..it's going to put her through hell i'm sure...but it's shitty of you to stay if you dont want to.

[bohemiandonut]

Think it through. It sucks that you're living together, but you have to face the reality of that fact. Her moving out is going to be a huge, sad, dramatic ordeal; don't call for it unless that's what you really want.

If you do break up with her: BE NICE. Don't spring it on her, especially not right after she returns from her parents.

Wait a while and see how she is when she comes home. Also, the stuff that bugs you, talk to her about it. Most of the nagging probably comes from jealousy, and maybe she needs to be reminded that she can trust you (if she can.)

You know how you feel now, but what you can't know is how you'll feel after she's been gone for three weeks. What if you decide you want her back? With the whole live-in thing it would be really hard to - Hmm... I've just thought of something...

What if you just tell her you want to try living seperately? She needs to know you're not ready to progress to marriage right now. Living together is HUGE and you DO NOT sound ready for it.

Just think, and think hard.
Peace.

[misombra]

yes i agree think it through. relationships have their ups and downs, it's not always milllk and honey.

but if you do, it will be very difficult.

[Junket]

you dont need a valid reason to want to break up

I concur.
_____

[Steve2004]

I concur.
_____

did they not let you just post "i concur"?..that limit gets me every time

[Junket]

did they not let you just post "i concur"?..that limit gets me every time

yup
________

[Steve2004]

thought so. i some times add random faces like

"cool "

[Junket]

I prefer

"_________"

cause it means nothing

[Illusional]

alright so you feel like a jerk.. but when you really think about it, do you wanna be with her anymore?? if the answer is "NO" then you might want to consider; how will she feel is you continue this relationship knowing that you are only staying with her because you don't have the mind power to break up with her? she'll look at it either this way, or that you're with her because of pity.

whichever way she takes it, the longer you put it off, the harder that it will be. i feel as though you already have a valid reason to break it off, basically because you don't care for or rather love her as much as you did before. no wait, i just reread your post and you said that you don't wanna be with her any longer?? well that should be your main point. tell her frankly that you no longer care or want to be with her and it's been eating you up inside.

raverboy

[Cybog]

I love reading about relationships that crumble after living together for only 6 months.

It kind of makes you wonder how much though the 2 of them actually put into living together, and how much they were actually willing to put up with to make this relationship work.

Apparently, not enough. And sadly, as well as statistically, hardly anyone does these days.

[Illusional]

at the same time i would like to question how strong their relationship is or was. they might have rushed into things too quickly only to find out that they are not compatible with one another. who knows.

raverboy

[LightOn]

The attraction is gone...Can't get what you want from her...No use wasting both Yours and Her time anymore. Don't be caught up worrying about wether or not You are being a jerk...You should know that is only going to make you feel miserable longer. Procrastination is a *****!

[koolzero]

Thank you everyone for your replys. The sad truth is I'm such a big pussy that I couldn't put my foot down and tell her that I wasn't ready to move in. Now I've got back peddle and figure a way out of this mess. I can't just spring it on her, but like lighton said it will make me more miserable the longer I wait...

[Junket]

I think it might be because nobody depends on eachother as much anymore.

Think about it, way back when when there were gender roles.

Everybody had roles to perform.

If one did not perform their "societal duty", things would get rocky.

But now because these roles are becoming extinct, everybody is now pretty much independent. They no longer need somebody else to perform certain task because they can do it themself.

Why do people leave?

Cause they don't need to live and put up with them.

They can literally live without them.

So why stick around if you're not havin' fun right?