I got to know this girl from my college club who is my friend's younger sister. We hit it off really fast, and we were texting each other daily till we fall asleep. She was really charming and I fell for her. Things were going really well. But it went downhill when i screwed things up by rushing things even though she hinted me that we were moving too fast. We would argue often because we were expecting different things from each other. Finally, She asked me out for a talk and told me that she felt that she would regret it if we were in a relationship. She also once told me she wasn't ready to be in any relationship. I respected that. We stopped talking and she stopped coming to back for club activities, which wasn't a big deal since she isn't really keen in participating in our activities and was rather aloof in the club. Few months later, i texted her and tried to establish friendship again. Didn't work out so well and I didn't pursue it and let it cool.

In that same month, I went out her elder sister for lunch. When she found out abt the lunch later that day, out of the blue, she texted me and said that she doesn't ever want to talk to me again, we can't be friends anymore and I am bothering her. She thought I had lunch with her elder sister to talk about her, and didn't want to hear my explanation. She really hated me. I was really upset, but I just let it slide and tell her that if that's how she feels, then ok, I won't bother her again. I stopped thinking about her and went on doing my stuff.

Few months on.. she started coming back for club activities and suddenly become an active participants in all our activities. Throughout, I noticed that she was always glancing at me once in a while, and I thought I was thinking too much and confine in my club-mate about this and he confirmed my observation.

She started laughing at my silly banters with my friends again. We started to talk again, albeit strictly abt club stuff. One of her close friend in the club was also shocked she is ok with talking to me now and ask her why, she said that's cause I am not weird anymore.

But still, she is seemed to be angry with everything I do. Like she will tell my friend "This is what I dislike about xxxx" when she see me doing some stuff or talking. She will suggest to everyone she wants to watch movie, but when she thought she I wasn't joining them for movies, she will tell my friend, "Thank god xxxx is not joining us". When she joined me and my friends for badminton, she seem really unwilling when my friends team me up with her and become really impatient even though we perform really great as a team. She will mimick and try things I'm doing like we went cycling ytd, she will tried to cycle without handle when I'm doing it. But when i cycle up to her to teach her how to do it, she seem annoyed, but still did it anyway. She will do strange things like telling me she really want prawns for BBQ and thank me when i say she will get prawns. But she is allergic to prawns and I totally forgotten.. I felt really guilty and baffled as to why she did this.

Despite all these, she will still join my group activities, and I'm driven crazy and confused with her presence. While I felt really happy whenever I see her, but on the other hand, I feel like sh*t when I tried talking to her, she will talk to me very much differently than when she talk to anyone else. Sometimes she seem sweet, sometimes she seemed impatient and unwilling to talk.

I also realized that this made me feel angry at her actions easily, always mindful of what she does, unable to talk normally when she's around.

I'm deeply in love with her, but I'm being driven crazy whenever she's around, and she does appears to be around awful often nowadays. I can't quit the club as I'm the captain and I too only recently went back to the club after months of absence to escape possibilities of her returned presence. My friends suggested I just ignore her, but it's much easier said than done, cause I still really care for her. She's the first girl that made me felt so strongly and gave me so much new emotions I never experienced before. I'm really trying hard to focus on my doing my stuff and hanging out with my friends but she pops into my mind ever so often. I'm trying to move on, sometimes it felt like I succeed, but then she will reappear and I will cave in.

Can anyone please tell me why she doing all these?? Does she really hate me? Or it's all in my head? I really want to know how she feels, should I just simply ask her?