I don't know what to do with this girl, please help?

[nidzo]

So this girl found me on fb and added me as a friend, we started talking on chat and she asked me out for a date - I said yes. It went well, we talked, had a few laughs but nothing happened - we didn't kiss. Ok, no biggie, it was our 1st date.
On 2nd, I tried to kiss her and she just gave me a quick flash kiss on the lips (no tongue) and asked me to take things slow - she wants to get to know me first before she jumps into a relationship. Ok, I can respect that.
3rd, 4th, 5th date went like the first one... It was nothing more then a hanging out with a friend. After 3rd date I talked to her on chat about all this and she says that she likes me and wants to be with me but that we still need to get to know each other better before anything happens.
We see each other once a week, it has been our 7th date, I think, last Monday - so that makes it two months that we know each other. She hugs me when we walk, cuddle with me... but still no kiss.
I talked to my friend about it, and it turns out, a few months ago this girl asked him out for a date - same as me over fb. He never went out with her, because he has a girlfriend, but know I got paranoid... What if she's dating someone else also and the reason she doesn't want to kiss me is that she's in dilema with who she wants to be with? I see her flirt around on the fb with other guys - that's normal but still ads flame to my paranoia, and it really bugs me.
Last Monday, I tried to kiss her, even thou I knew she probably would not allow it, which she didn't... So, I asked her once again what is going on, how long do we have to wait, is there someone else...? This time she said to me that a certain unexpected development has occurred - she has an opportunity to finish her collage in Europe and if she gets in she will be leaving in a month. She says that she wants a real relationship with me and if that is not possible she doesn't want anything.
What am I suppose to do? She really grew on me over these two months, I like her vary much, but I'm not sure I trust everything she's telling me.
On the other side if she's being honest with me, do I keep dating her and hoping she doesn't get accepted in school in Europe. And if I break things up now, and then she stays, I'll be kicking myself for not waiting.
I don't know what to do with this girl, please help?

P.S. I'm 25, she's 23. And sorry for my English it's not my mother language.

[Wakeup]

We see each other once a week, it has been our 7th date, I think, last Monday - so that makes it two months that we know each other.

No.. that makes it that you've known each other for 7 dates. Lets say they've lasted about 3 hours each. That makes it that you've known her for approximately 21 hours. Not two months of getting to know you at all, really.

Why don't you stop with all the expectations and if you like her then just keep having some fun get-togethers with her while you get to know one another better. If she goes to Europe than you and she can part company on good terms. You'll know soon enough if she's leaving or she's not. In the meantime, why not date others as well so that you can keep those expectations for her in check?

[heather_1]

If im 100% honest with you she does sound like she could be seeing other guys. I hope it goes well for you but I think she might just be in this for either a friend or free dinner and drinks

[Wakeup]

If im 100% honest with you she does sound like she could be seeing other guys. I hope it goes well for you but I think she might just be in this for either a friend or free dinner and drinks

Why wouldn't she be seeing other guys? They've not promised exclusivity to one anothe yet have they? Op, as I mentioned should also be seing other women so that he stops with the expectations with this one.

OP: You should step up to the plate if you don't want her to date others and ask her for exclusivity. If she says no, well then you know that she's not valuing you much and you can make an informed decision about what you should do with her then.

[nidzo]

I can't ask for exclusivity because we are still not officially together. But I did ask her is there someone else, and told her that I don't want to be wasting my time if she already knows that we won't be together. She said she isn't like that, and that she likes me, she wants to be with me and the way she said that I think she wants exclusivity, but given these circumstances and making decision where she should continue her education her words were "I don't need a boyfriend right now."
All this is completely understandable. And she will have an answer within a month whether she's going away or not.
My friends tell me to forget about her and move on, but this girl I really like, it has been a while since I met someone and connected this much, I don't want to go back to one night stands and casual "hanging out" with girls.
My primary option is to do nothing, keep dating her, and see how this all plays out but its getting hard sitting next to her, looking at her, and not being able to kiss her, hold her... So I've been thinking to stop seeing her until she figures her life out and if she stays here than we can continue to date, but I'm afraid that I'll lose her in the meantime.

p.s. I don't think she's in this for free diner and drinks, she always insists to pay for her half - I never let her, so last time she tricked me and payed the whole thing.

[Eddie Fews]

Hey man, are you honestly putting your life on pause for someone else? She has no problem running off to europe for school giving the oppurtunity so that should speak for itself. It appears that you are prioritizing someone that don't care about what you want/need as much as you do for them. It appears that she is enjoying the dates and money being spent but she wants nothing more than that. I've seen this happen many times before.. If you settle for less that what you want, you will never have what you deserve. You are being dragged along played with like a little puppy.. Snap out of it mate

[Wakeup]

So I've been thinking to stop seeing her until she figures her life out and if she stays here than we can continue to date, but I'm afraid that I'll lose her in the meantime.

I think you should do this. If she initiates some dates with you then go on them WITHOUT EXPECTATION that it will result in you becoming her boyfriend.

I'd not give up on trying to kiss her either if you're going to go out with her. You certainly don't want to end up on the Friends Ladder and off of the Potential Ladder (google Ladder Theory for more info on ladder placement) so if you go on a nice romantic date then end it with a nice romantic kiss or two and then leave her to think about that kiss (end it first and then leave) without trying to fk her when she's plainly told you that she will not do that until she is certain if she will be gone or not.

[nidzo]

This has been helpful.
Thank you for advices i appreciate your help.

[mrFrog]

You have a serious problem with escalation. How can you went out 7 times with a girl you like and din't have only a real kiss? You focused too much on yourself and didn't have fun enough. If you don't think about it seriously, you will have the 70th date with no kisses.

[nidzo]

It's not like a haven't tried. Every time I try she doesn't allow it and says that we have to wait before we enter in relationship. She seems like she doesn't want to start things causal and then slowly grow from there, she wants a serious committed relationship from the start - I mean it's like we are arranging a marriage. For me it would be normal if she made me wait a little longer for sex, but a kiss... Shouldn't I have been kissed already?

[Wakeup]

You should have initiated a bunch of kisses by now and if she won't even kiss you, then I'd be slowly backing away from her until you find out if she's staying here or not. If she stays then ask her to be exclusive then. If she says no to exclusivity then tell her you're not interested in being her Male Girlfriend any longer and say ciao! I suspect if/when she agrees to be in a "serious committed relationship" with you, you'll dump her for being frigid and rigid.

I'd say to just stop putting so much expectation and effort into this until you know her living situation. Once that's known, you'll be able to be more decisive about her.