Am I crazy and controlling or smart

[adriluver]

My girlfriend and I took a break after almost two years. During that time she made a guy friend, messed
Around with him, slept over a few times, text him all the time and lied to me about her whereabouts, actions, etc. the entire time. I know we were broken up up she knew I was bing faithful and trying to work it out. We were still seeing each other, talking and even sleeping together, just no official title of bf/gf.

Obviously her physical actions and emotional attachment to him hurts but was since in her mind single okay. The lying was not okay.

We are now back together again and working on us but trust is a big concern. She has come clean about all that has happened down to the painful little details but says they never had sex.

My question is should I be okay with the fact that she wants to keep him around as a friend or as a woman that loves a man and wants to be with him should it be clear that this will keep the wound open and is not only disrespectful but absurd. She only knew the guy a week and we have fought a lot about it. She is still Facebook friends and thinks I'm out of line to ask her to give up a friend, and severe all ties.

Am I out of line or right to protect the relationship and our future by insisting these type of relationships are not healthy?

[Hookahmike]

its hard to say, i think you two need to have a serious talk in reguards to what you are doing with each other and where you both are going. the fact that she wants to continue a "friendship" with someone she was previously in a sexual relationship with would be troubling for any guy in your position. the question is how long were on "break" for?

[HeartIsAching]

My girlfriend and I took a break after almost two years. During that time she made a guy friend, messed
Around with him, slept over a few times, text him all the time and lied to me about her whereabouts, actions, etc. the entire time. I know we were broken up up she knew I was bing faithful and trying to work it out. We were still seeing each other, talking and even sleeping together, just no official title of bf/gf.

Obviously her physical actions and emotional attachment to him hurts but was since in her mind single okay. The lying was not okay.

We are now back together again and working on us but trust is a big concern. She has come clean about all that has happened down to the painful little details but says they never had sex.

My question is should I be okay with the fact that she wants to keep him around as a friend or as a woman that loves a man and wants to be with him should it be clear that this will keep the wound open and is not only disrespectful but absurd. She only knew the guy a week and we have fought a lot about it. She is still Facebook friends and thinks I'm out of line to ask her to give up a friend, and severe all ties.

Am I out of line or right to protect the relationship and our future by insisting these type of relationships are not healthy?

You're crazy and controlling.

Not because you want the guy out of her life, but because you were attempting to control her access to people and keep tabs on her whereabouts when you were on a break.

You're not wrong to tell her that her maintaining a relationship with this other guy is a dealbreaker, and if she doesn't desist you're going to go. It's absolutely fine to set a boundary... but you MUST stick to it. Say it and leave it. If she doesn't respect the boundary, you need to go.

[mrFrog]

I guess you two are gonna break up again. The truth is the existence of that guy hurts you emotionally. If your GF respects you and your relationship, she'll give up that guy.

[adriluver]

We were dating all summer, it was known that I was managamous and that our intentions were to get back together we were just working on some issues. We were broken up a few weeks but still spoke, text daily and slept together regularly.

You're crazy and controlling.

Not because you want the guy out of her life, but because you were attempting to control her access to people and keep tabs on her whereabouts when you were on a break.

You're not wrong to tell her that her maintaining a relationship with this other guy is a dealbreaker, and if she doesn't desist you're going to go. It's absolutely fine to set a boundary... but you MUST stick to it. Say it and leave it. If she doesn't respect the boundary, you need to go.

[InYourFACE]

I think its stupid to break up and keep going back to exes. just cause u miss them\

missing someone after a break up is part of the healing from the break up.
so by going back you stand in the way of the process.

so i think if it is a ex leave it in your past.
and all she did was when you was not her bf. so why do you want to know that much about what she did?
its not even your business.

and its your own fault for jumping like a moron around from break up to get back together
in such a short period.

every break up needs their time to heal and let go. so you cant jump into her life just after she broke up with this dude
and think you are the world to her suddenly.
you are putting yourself in a situation to get hurt.

and she needs to have more self respect. instead of taking one guy after another.