I have feelings for my best friend and have no idea what to do next.

[red-rasberry]

ive been best friends with him for 6 years, I'm 21 and he is the same age.

4 years ago at a party a girl asked me if my best friend was my boyfriend. I instantly said no and havent been able to stop thinking about it since.
A few months after he revealed to me his feelings and i reciprocated, and then he freaked out the next day and started panicking. He isn't very experienced in relationships (only 1 ex g/f) so i wasn't very surprised.

Since then we have had this strange on and off relationship thats just between us. Half way though I gave up on him and settled down with a new lad. He took a dislike and after numerous fall outs between me and my boyfriend he finally let rip how much he disliked him. Which turned out to be quite a lot. I took it as typical best friends protecting each other but one night after far too much alcohol he told me to dump his ass and get with him as "it would work out and we would be so good together". I was so close to saying yes but stupidly said no and that i was with my boyfriend. We broke up and shortly after he started making moves.

A year ago we landed up sleeping together after a night out and since then have been in this strange limbo. When we are alone the tension is crazy. we havent slept together since but we always land up cuddling and kissing whenever its just us or when we drink and weve spoken on more than one occasion about being more but he said he just doesnt know what to do and that he doesnt know anyone else in this position. I think he seems to think its all doomed. He has no faith in his self when it comes to relationships. im just so stuck, where is the line?
Alcohol gives us both dutch courage i know that much but there is so much more behind this than just a drunken fumble around.

Before anyone says, yes i do know that ive crosses the friendship line and if things go further we can probably never go back, but i just dont know what to do. I want him and a relationship but he is always unsure or scared of how its going to end up.

he is caring and funny and everything i could ever wish for a boyfriend. Every lad i come across doesnt compare with him. i love him as a best friend and i really want this to work. I know we would work well and all our friends are starting to realise whats going on. He says doesnt know what to do and is scared. He also says its strange as I'm 'one of the lads'. Ive even started trying to dress nicer for him and put more effort into little things ot get his attention (pathetic i know), but i just can't help it.

Im going out my mind and if any lads out there have any idea what he may be thinking please speak up.

[searock]

Uh... well, stupid question probably but, have you considered talking to him and letting him know that you want to be in a serious relationship with him?!

[red-rasberry]

Yes ive tried and he panics. he said he doesnt want to lose me as a friend if things went badly.

[searock]

Tell him that if you don't make your relationship official, he'll lose you as a friend and as a romantic partner. It's not blackmailing, it's the simple truth: you've gone too far already for the friendship to survive if things went bad between you as a couple, so his are just excuses.

[red-rasberry]

thanks for the reply. Ill try it and have to see how things go. Fingers crossed!

[searock]

Good luck, keep us updated!