should i remind him of his debt after he broke up with me?

[ricamar]

i am 49 yrs old widow woman... but i dont look old... they say i look like im in my thirties... i dont want to sound boastful but i still have guy admirers from ages 25 and up.. some of them were being met from dating websites and there is one guy who is younger than me by 18 yrs. at first, i am ignoring him cause he was too young for me but still he insisted and told me that age doesnt matter. he is too persistent so i entertained him until we have love relationship. we were so happy then and until i got the chance to see and learned that he had a young girlfriend from a social network. he denied once but when i told him that i have a better evidence, he confirmed already. he asked me to give him 2 months for him to break up with girl, he doesnt want me to be out of his life... told him he lied to me but still i forgive him coz i love him. so i gave him a chance.... and will wait for their breakup...so we still go on..... his zodiac sign is libra....with a characteristics of neing undecisive, sometimes he is sweet, sometimes as if he doesnt know u.... and that is now what i have aeen from him. on and off communication...because he seldoms communicate with.... what if that is a sign that he want to get off with me? but when i ask him if he is having difficulty with me, might end our relationship, but he doesnt want to. but i am hurting if there comes a time that his treatment is cold. he always said he is busy with work.
with all these emotional hurting actions towards me, i am afraid that we might end out relationship. if that comes, will i still ask for the balance payment for the ipod touch that he bought to me. i sold my unit to him and its not yet fully paid. i remember one time when he askes me how much is his balance, i told him dont bother anymore with the balance.... thats bec i love him so much. does this made me a silly stupid woman? there comes a time when i thought of telling to his young gf about me and our boyfriend is one person only. so as to let her know that our only bf is not loyal. please help me on whats the best thing to do. thank you

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Break up with this guy. He's not going to stop seeing this girl, and even if he does, he will find someone else not long after. He still owes you the money, but you probably won't get it from him. It's probably best to just cut all ties.

[Wakeup]

i am 49 yrs old widow woman... but i dont look old... they say i look like im in my thirties... i dont want to sound boastful but i still have guy admirers from ages 25 and up..

It's nice that you look younger than your age, but don't let the young one's on the dating sites flatter you too much to the point where you end up in sexual only relationships. They are on those sites to pass sexual time with older, just broken up or widowed women who get easily flattered by their compliments. Most young men do not want a totally, exclusive and committed longterm realtionship with a woman who is a lot older than them... particularily if they don't have children of their own yet. Assume all they want is a sexual relationship but before going into that with them, make sure they are not already involved.

Learn to identify red flag behaviour before you even consider dating another guy whether he be older or younger. There are a million red flags a flying in your story and you ignored them all. You don't say how long you dated before your gut started to tell you that things were'nt right and you snooped to find him already involved.

... and yes, forget your Ipod. Forget him and learn from this so it doesn't happen to you again. Try men your own age, the chances are that they're looking for something real is higher than some young pup whose motives are obvious to those outside looking in.

[dem862]

He is playing you. He doesn't really care about you. He just enjoys giving and getting attention from women, any woman, any age. There is no substance here. It sounds like it might be stroking your ego to get attention from this young man. You might be confusing that with love. You were probably married most of your life and don't realize dating websites are full of men who prey on women and you have to be very selective about who you communicate with. Forget about the money. Consider it the price of an education and the cost of getting rid of this guy.

[Boisdevie]

I"m a 48 year old guy. If you buy me an iPad I might **** you. Interested?

[haxan]

Geez, you're 49, look like you're in your 30's, attract guys decades younger and are self admittedly hot. Then you had to go and ruin all that good imagery by admitting that you're cheap

You already told him to forget the money, don't start crying poor because you're not the preferred puss right now.

By the way, do you think you'd look better on the arm of a 29 year old guy, or a 69 year old guy? Vashti and I are just asking

[ricamar]

yes, i've been thinking about your answer... my brain says its better to let him go but my heart keeps on loving him esp when he begs to me not to leave him... i am so confused... ive been always hurt by him but he is the only one who can make my world go round....im trying to ignore him thru cellfone but i cant help myself texting him back...ive lost weight cause i cant eat, cant sleep thinking how can i beat my feelings if he is the one make my life complete?
yes, never mind the ipod, its just material thing... what matters most is my feelings, my days are similar to a roller coaster. i cant really move on..

[InYourFACE]

Once you told him he dont have to pay its is so.

so you cant tll him to pay you when you get mad and stuff. that is childish and stupid

and think you have some issues. a old woman as you should be dating people of your age and
experience life with them.
cause you sound right now like a old ass that wants to act like a teen with a new bf.
sounds soooooooooooooooo stupid.

and internet relationship doesn't exist. i think people that think that its possible have serious reality issues.

[InYourFACE]

and ipod?? sounds like you are fightng about a toy a mom braught for his son.

woman grow up! and i thought older means wiser. you know he have a gf.
so why do you still around him?!!

you are so wrong in many ways. and now you want to tell the gf? it will only put you in a bad spot and they will

make fun of your old ass. you are to old for this games.

[Wakeup]

yes, i've been thinking about your answer... my brain says its better to let him go but my heart keeps on loving him esp when he begs to me not to leave him... i am so confused... ive been always hurt by him but he is the only one who can make my world go round....im trying to ignore him thru cellfone but i cant help myself texting him back...ive lost weight cause i cant eat, cant sleep thinking how can i beat my feelings if he is the one make my life complete?
yes, never mind the ipod, its just material thing... what matters most is my feelings, my days are similar to a roller coaster. i cant really move on..

You'll feel like this for a long time if you don't stop responding to him. This goes back to the anology that you can't stop smoking if you keep having a drag off of a cigarette. Stop taking drags of him and expecting to break the habit of being on this roller coaster he MAKES you ride.

You're not in love with him... you're addicted to the oxytocin release and nothing more. When he takes that away, you go through withdrawl that manifests itself with you not being able to eat, sleep or function normally. You're going to ruin yourself by continuing to let him do this to you. Zero contact so that you can rehab from him. It's understandable that you became this enamoured when you likely hadn't felt the way he made you feel in years but you can't let the bs overtake you the way you're letting it or you'll become sick and emotionally beaten down. No man is worth you allowing that to happen.

Dump him. He lied to you and he is taking advantage of your good nature and trusting personality. A good man would NEVER do that to you. Be done with him, heal from your "addiction" to him and then go to a different site to date so that you'll not see his cheating-assed photo everytime you log on. Erradicate him from your life in all ways... just like addicts have to do with their addictive substance of choice.