Does he wish he was with the ex?

[abbey3]

I know what i have done is wrong, but i have read emails between my boyfriend and his ex when they were together. And its killing me...

They split over 5 years ago but have always remained in contact. In the beginning of our relationship she tried to cause a lot of trouble between us which is why she is so apparent in our relationship. He no longer really talks to her now because of this.

But after reading these emails even after they broke up he said things like 'he never wanted to marry anyone else' and 'one day they would have a future together'. On top of this he always told her her loved her etc....

Now the thing is, he has had many changes in the last 5 years to get back with her and he hasn�t- she still says she loves him now.
She made the break up very difficult for him when it did end and for the past five years she made him feel very guilty. BUT they still stayed in contact, still met up, always emailing, texting!!

I know he didn�t know me then and i can�t expect him to have had a life before me, but he doesn�t tell me he loves me all the time, he says this is just the way he is (and i know iv posted about that before) But why then did he have no problem telling her?

Was it because he was young? Does he not like saying it now because of how his last relationship ended?

Or is it just because he doesn�t feel that strongly? I am honestly driving myself crazy comparing the way he spoke to her and the way he speaks to me. I know i had no right to read messages from 5 years ago but i couldn�t help myself...

[Maple1714]

You can't live in the past...it will mess up the present. Every love btw 2 people is unique. Your BF's love with his ex is what it is...and its over for a reason. You need to focus on your relationship and not go digging up the past.

I did the same thing many many years ago. I was dating someone and I went into his email account and read emails between he and his ex. These emails were from before he ever met me. They both talked about how much they loved each other etc...she was even going to move out to where he lived to be with him. Then he met me and all that ended. You can't change the past. I regretted reading those emails.

[Cerby]

Wow Abbey, you're getting all uptight about something that happened before he even met you. You're comparing how he used to talk to her to how he talks to you now. Here is something you haven't thought about, their relationship failed, so him changing means yours might have a chance.

Please don't dig into his past, if you go digging in a graveyard you're bound to find some bones. Be happy with what you have, and if you aren't, then don't drag him down with you.

[abbey3]

I agree i know i should not have ever read those emails...as all they make me is upset.

But he used to telll her her loved her all the time..yet with me he just 'isnt that kind of person' and hadly says it at all.

Does that just not show that he obviously felt more for her than he does for me?

[Maple1714]

Does that just not show that he obviously felt more for her than he does for me?

No, it doesn't mean anything. He was obviously younger when he was with his ex and sometimes people throw around the word "love" a little too loosely. Maybe he doesn't want to do that now...he is in a new relationship with you and maybe he just wants to be more reserved. I try and only say the word "love" when I mean it. When I was 18 or something sure I probably told my BF I loved him ALL the time...but I probably didn't mean it half of the time. Try not to focus on the past like I said. Don't hold on to words either...focus on his actions TODAY. If he is not the kind of person TODAY that throws around the word "love" all the time then that's fine. Only you know and can feel if he truly loves you...go with that.