Fell for my best friend. So confused!

[HbHb]

Hey! First of all I want to say thanks to anyone who responds. I don't really have anyone that I can sit down and have an honest conversation with about my problem...

OK, so I met this girl about two years ago. We're both in our early 30's and share pretty much all the same friends. We instantly hit it off and have since become really good friends over the years. At first I fought my feelings but eventually gave in and started falling or her. However, she's always had a boyfriend. During the window between her last two relationships I did ask her out on a date and she told me she didn't know and couldn't answer. So I never really got a yes or no. Plus I believe she was just starting a new relationship when I asked.

Now here's the confusing stuff. She recently open ed up to me about how her ex-boyfriend pretty much hated me and was jealous of me. Why? Because all she did was talk about me to him and hang out with me. There was a lot of "be quiet, he's calling and I have to answer" moments. Now to top it all off she also just told me about how she was on vacation with her new boyfriend and again did nothing but talk about me. She mentioned both of these facts kind of on the sly but seemed shy about getting into it.

It's really confusing because we're so close it's like dating without the intimacy. I mean, after I asked her out I figured she would distance herself from me but she didn't. I've shared beds with her since. She knows exactly how I feel about her but she's not shying away from it. I don't know any girl who would continue to hang out with someone they know has feelings for them.

I've been pretty good at just being the friend. Sometimes it gets really hard to deal with but at the end of the day we are awesome friends. I guess my questions are... Is she hiding deeper feelings for me? Should I just forget it and stay friends? Should I express my feelings again some way? Ive never felt like this toward anyone in my life. I've never been this confused. I feel like a 15 yr old!

Any thought?? Thanks!!

[Maple1714]

You should tell her how you feel and then back off and wait for her to make a decision. Be honest with her. She of course already knows you have feelings for her, but maybe she just needs to hear the words come out of your mouth.

[HeartIsAching]

She probably is. The only way you'll know for sure is to ask. If she is, and you're interested, I'd say go for it. I married my best friend and so far I've had a ball.

I love having a spouse that's fun to just hang out with.

[HbHb]

If she is hiding feelings for me then why wouldn't she just go for it and make a move? That's the troubling question I have with that. She knows I like her well beyond a friend. There's plenty of opportunities on a weekly basis haha! Ugggg thanks for the reply!

[kamani]

Well, she definitely knows you have feelings for you. I think she has feelings for you and in the meantime, she continues with her boy friend as well. She doesn't make a move because she has a bf. This situation is not good for any of you. I think you should directly communicate with her, and yet if there is no clear answer you should cut her off. This friendship is taking away your opportunites while it damages her relationship with her bf as well. After all you are not 'friends' you have feelings for each other.

[lylufy]

Wow, you're so pretty ! I love your feeling at that age, so faithful.
Hum, as I see, your girl is quiet confused now. But she know the nice way to keep both of you are in close friends like that.
She understood and felt exact how your feelings about her. But, may be she did not know feelings of herself about you.
And she still beside you, I'm sure that she have some interested feelings to you.
Now, I think you should go to face her and express your love again in another way, suitable with her.
Tell her your intimate feelings and wait for her feedback !

[steviej]

Mention some random girl you met and how she's really hot, see if other girl gets jealous...

[MsAdele]

Maybe she is afraid that if she gets in to a relationship with you and it doesnt end up working out you will loose out on your friendship. She may just be cautious because she values your friendship. You will never know for sure until you ask her, otherwise, it will keep going the way you are with her now, you will have to ask yourself are you happy to continue that way or do something about it and know the truth about where you stand with her.

[mrFrog]

If you want to change the relationship, change the way you treat her. Don't treat her like a close friend anymore. Find something romantic, something that between lovers and move to that.