She Loves Me. I Love her but can't tell her..
It all started 10 months back. There is this girl who is 5 years older than me, unmarried. We both were very good friends back then. Then she started giving me all those signals. I knew that something is wrong so one day we decided to talk. She said that she loves me. On that very day I made her clear that there are no feelings from my side but we can still be good friends. Things kept going. We started spending time with each other but then there were times when I used to think that things are going out of control and we are crossing the friends limit and I stopped talking to her for her own good. I stopped talking to her because she is on the edge of her marriage age and as long as I am with her she is not seeing anyone and if she doesn’t get married soon it will become very difficult. (That’s how our bullshit society is, I hate that too.) I have explained all these things to her also but she just doesn’t want to understand. Then she used to do all cry, "can’t live without you", "plz don't do this to me" kinda stuff. I was just not able to take all that crying and see her suffer like that every day and we started talking again. (The biggest problem with getting over with each other is we work at same place.) This cycle of talking and not talking happened 2-3 times and every time same things used to happen. But one day I took a hard and firm decision of not talking to her and since then we are not talking. She again did all those cry things but this time I hardened myself and didn't talk to her. Now it’s been 3.5 months that we haven't talked and now I am missing her damn much and I think I love her too. She is 24x7 on my mind. But conditions are still same, I can't marry her. (Family problems L). She doesn't know about my feelings and family problems. So now my problem is that should I tell her about my feelings that I love her too and we both start talking as long as it can or should I just let her go and not tell her anything about my feeling. I just don’t want to make things worse for her. May be she has got over me or maybe she is trying to do that but if I talk to her again all those feelings will again come back and when we separate in future again then it will be more painful for both of us. I know that she is waiting for me and may be she will not marry anyone in future not because of me but for some other reasons, about which I came to know recently, which I can’t mention here. Please help me out. It’s killing me plus my heart tells me that even nothing can happen between us marriage n all but she deserves to know that I love her too.