Did my ex used me for sex?

[Simina]

We were together for 2 years, in a ldr. After 2 months of no contact, I heard he was in my town, so I suggested we meet for a coffee.*
I went to his place and he wanted more than coffee. We started kissing.. And I told him I'm not sleeping with him if we're not together again. So he said yes, we're getting back together. He was really nice and happy.
After that I went home. I didnt hear from him all day, although when we were together he would at least call me at night to say good night. I called him at 12 am, he*was with his guys, he was really cold and said we'll talk tomorrow.*
The next day I waited until 5 pm for him to call. He was leaving my town the next day, so I was hoping to see him before he leaves. I finally called him. He was with the guys, he said he'll call me later. Also, very cold.
When he called, he said he was going to a party with his old colleagues. And that in the morning he will leave, but that he will return in a week. I was upset that he couldn't find time to see me or call me and that he wasnt the person he was before we had sex.
So I sent him a message telling him I have the feeling that we're not together and that you just used me..
He didn't reply.
I sent another one.. No answer..
I called..he refused and texted back: we'll talk tomorrow.
I got really mad..I started texting him again and again that he used me and that now he ignores me and so on.
After a while he texted me and said 'please, don't ruin my time at the party'
He never once said 'no, I didnt use you, don't worry'
I probably sent him 10-12 messages that night telling him how awful I feel.
It's been 2 days and he hasn't called or texted me back.
I feel very sad. Sometimes I think that it was my crazy messages and desperation that drove him away. That maybe I shouldve waited a week until he returned. But why didn't he once deny my accusations?
I feel so used..I've been crying for 2 days and he didn't give at least one sign..
What do you think?*
Thank you..

[steviej]

He got one last f*ck out of you. You allowed yourself to get played then acted exactly how he expected. He thinks he dodged a bullet and doesn't care about you.

Ignore him, no contact, learn from this and chalk it up to experience. You have nothing to gain by attempting anything more from this.

He isn't worth your tears.

[dragon-fly]

I am sad to say I think he used you and I agree with steviej comments on the previous post.

[searock]

What an asshole. Be glad that he's gone.

[asdfg789]

@OP - if you sleep with me, i'll tell you the answer

[BackUpOrGetStng]

You made it so easy, I'm not sure it can be considered using you.

[VincenzoG91]

Simina, if you are old enough to have sex, you are old enough to know that guys sometimes tell women what they want to hear, just to get laid. He tricked you, but you have a chance to learn from the experience. Don't contact him anymore, just move on with your life. You don't need to get paranoid about other guys you meet, but try to see them clearly for what kind of people they are, good or bad or in-between. The way your ex treated you was crappy, but there were probably warning signs in the past that he was a crappy guy. The fact that he broke up with you in the first place by just ignoring you for two months should have been a red flag. Anyway, he will probably try to hook up with you again the next time you're in town, because he doesn't respect you. Have some respect for yourself and don't answer that call. Change his contact name on your phone to "Do Not Answer."

[Wakeup]

Well, I don't think he "used" you... I think you volunteered and you did so thinking that having sex would make him stay with you... so really, you used sex as a manipulation tool.

Next time you have sex with someone don't consider yourself a victim if they don't call back If they're not giving you any indication that they want to be with you for more than sex and you go ahead and have sex anyway, well then you should just enjoy the moment without expectation.

Perpetuating your own victimhood will in no way help you to learn the lesson or get over the consequences (feeling used and victimized) of your own actions.

Learn from this, Simina. "Yes we're getting back together" are words without action. You were'nt back together yet though so you shouldn't have slept with him until you were since you said you wouldn't. I suspect you went to coffee with him with the hopes that it would lead to you getting back together and you used sex as a bartering tool, it failed to get you what you wanted and now you regret what you did. Forgive yourself, forget him and consider yourself lucky to be rid of him for good now that you know, without doubt that he's not the guy you need to have in your life.

[Simina]

Thank you for your answers. Yes, I admit I was 'naive' to say the least and that I shouldn't have trusted him. I am almost sure he had a plan..he was sure that by ignoring me I would get mad and then he would have an excuse like 'I wanted to get back together but you started being crazy . I was a bit surprised of how cruel he was, and although I would never answer his calls or messages ever again, I would've at least expected a reply with something like 'I'm sorry, I got carried away when saying yes and then I realised it was a big mistake to get back together'..or anything..Even if that would be a lie, after 2 years together..at least he could've showed that he is human. Maybe he is just immature, I don't know if he even realises what a jerk he really is. Anyway, thank you again. I will try my best not to make the same mistake again.

[Peter_rocks]

he used you, sorry.