Am I Reading something into this I need some Advice

[Mztbelle]

I know this is going to sound like something out of a soap opera it's long and rather lengthy but I need some advice desparately. I was going and eventually became engaged to man for 5 years. The relationship had alot of ups and downs. We lived together for 41/2years many times he would leave in the middle of the day clean out his clothes for no apparent reason and then resurface several weeks later or sometimes a month or 2 later with no explanation as to why he did it. I know I was crazy for taking him back all the times but when times were good they were good and when they were bad they were bad. Anyway we became engaged and were relatively happyuntil he started to take me for granted and I had had enough. I told him I needed space,and he took it as let's break up and eventually I broke the engagement. We tried to get back several times his choice and both times it didn't work out. Fina;;y the ring was given back and it wasn't on the best of terms.

There was no contact with each other for 9 months then out of no where I was left with a message on both my cell number and home phone to get in touch with him,he needed to run something past me and gave me his new cell phone number. Anyway I called back because I am a very curious person,we talked for over 21/2 hours and it made no sense why he called. Several times I said I con't want to keep you and he said no problem unless I had to go. At the end I couldn't fiqure out why he really called and threw out to him why don't we get together sometime for a drink,he paused and I said no that's not a good ides,he said if I call you you have to go.

About 6 weeks later he calls and says he didn't forget about the drink he promised me he is tying up loose business ends and when he's done he will be i touch for the drink. I told him it's not necessary he said we should get together. Again we were on the phone for awhile and didn't want to get off. New Year's day he calls and said he was putting something away that reminded him off me and wanted to wish me a happy new year. Last new year's we were broken up and I never heard from him. Anyway we were on the phone for 3 hours at which time we talked about anyting and everything. He told me he moved on etc. but was no anxious o get off the phone. Finally I did the unthinkable I told him I was going with a guy who just gave me an engagement ring and I don't know what to do. I wanted to get a reaction. He asked me how long was I going with him,maybe it is to quick and if he doesn't like it maybe he's not for you. We talked some more and then he said we have to get together for that drink. I said it wasn't necessary we just talked for 3 hours he said no let's get together I'll call you.

About 3 weeks later he called both my cell and home with no message. The day after Valentine's day he calls and says let's get together for that drink. The following day he calls my home and we tried to figure out where to meet,he says let me pick you up I said I didn't want to put you out of the way he said no problem. By the way he lives 1 hour plus from me. He pulls into the driveway before I could grab my pocketbook he is walking up the steps which I thought was weird. Anyway he rings the doorbell and has an attitude. All during dinner he doesn't seem happy go lucky more like he is doing me a favor by taking me for the drink. He told me I hurt him by saying I needed space it rocked him I guess all the times he hurt me and I took him back didn't mean anything. We had a 3 hour dinner I explained everything I felt he said he didn't realize why I wanted space etc. Anyway we leave and get into his car. I said I'm going to see how he feels since he seemed to be different then the other times we talked for hours. So I reached over and gave him a hug and then another hug and that lead to a kiss and another kiss. He was taking me home and I held his hand which we always did in the past and he didn't push me away. I started to go over certain things in the relationship which got me upset he said if I knew thins was going to happen i wouldn't have gotten together. He started to cry very hard and reminiced about the past and all the good times we had,we looked good as a couple and the fun we had etc. Anyway he eventually left no we didn't sleep together.

Anyway I felt stupid for what I did so I called him on his cell and we wound up talking for 45 minutes. In closing he said to me if you ever need to talk give me a call. I said that's why I have girlfriends. He said if you need a nail put in the wall or something hung up call him. I said let me get this right if I need something done and I call you you will come over. He said yes it will cost you dinner. We had just discussed in the car that I thought it would be a good idea that we have no more contact or see each other it was too difficult. Then he says to call him. I don't get it. I know your saying she needed space which eventually broke the engagement and has lengthly conversations and meets him why... Simple i was hoping he was going to say to me I have alot time to think about what I had and lost and want to try and put it back together and it didn't happen.

Another point of interest was that something was coming up in our business environment that we might have crossed path,and he mentioned he was going to it,I said I wasn't going he knoew in previous years I enjoyed going to this function. He said your not able to go,I said no I could have gone and choose not too. When we were ending our conversation later that evening I said aren't you glad I'm not going to that event and he said no,I can't figure him out and am confused about his actions I need your help please.

[indigosoul]

...I can't figure him out and am confused about his actions I need your help please.

Hi there. OK, I read this. Long & involved. So what is your question? Could you be a little more specific?

[mhussain]

look Mztbelle

either this guy takes lots of prozacs and hence the behaviour or he still takes u to be his personal property. he goes out and comes back without explanation and u let him in!! without asking anything?

then he calls u and tells u were and when to meet and u go.

Mztbelle, first decide what u want and no one, repeat NO ONE here or anywhere else can answer that except u.

no matter how long it takes, decide what u want and then stick to it. there are better guys out there for u , i am sure of it.

but if u think he is the best for u, then best of luck and i hope that it works outfor u

Hussain

[Mztbelle]

Hi there. OK, I read this. Long & involved. So what is your question? Could you be a little more specific?

I'm sorry it was long and involved i just want to get your opinion does this guy still have feeling and he is not coming out with it or his playing a game with me?

[Mztbelle]

Hi MHussain,

Thanks for your input your absolutely right I have accepted enough of his garbage . I just wanted to through the story out to everyone to see what your opinion was on this whole saga. He seems like he talks double talk what do you think? Thanks again

[mhussain]

double talk is bullshit. it seems that he wants u at his beck and call.

dont

njoy ur life aside of him and if he still bothers u, call me. i have a spare baseball bat somewhere around here ok!

Hussain

[Mztbelle]

double talk is bullshit. it seems that he wants u at his beck and call.

dont

njoy ur life aside of him and if he still bothers u, call me. i have a spare baseball bat somewhere around here ok!

Hussain

you got it your a riot thanks for the pep talk it's appreciated.

[indigosoul]

He sounds confused. Not like a game player. Whole relationship sounds unstable to me. Why would someone in a long term relationship just come home one day & pack up & leave w/no warning or explanation. And do this repeatedly.

Why would you lie to him about being engaged instead of telling him exactly how you feel. Major communication issues here. And not the whole story, maybe? Did you two argue a lot when you were together?

Do what makes you most comfortable/happiest.

[Mztbelle]

He sounds confused. Not like a game player. Whole relationship sounds unstable to me. Why would someone in a long term relationship just come home one day & pack up & leave w/no warning or explanation. And do this repeatedly.

Why would you lie to him about being engaged instead of telling him exactly how you feel. Major communication issues here. And not the whole story, maybe? Did you two argue a lot when you were together?

Do what makes you most comfortable/happiest.

thanks for responding. Your right the relationship was unsabtable when he kept coming and going. However when he stayed around believe it or not we didn't fight got along very well I know that's hard to believe. I was afraid to tell him how I felt especially when he was telling me he has moved on etc. I don't know why I said i was engaged it just ca,e back. I think I was looking for him to say please don't but it didn't happen.