Help me with my sex life!

[XB678]

Hi all I am hoping for a bit of advice, as I am desperate!

I've been with a girl for two years. I love her like I've never loved anyone. But six or so months ago I started losing interested in having sex with her. It came slowly and I ignored it for a long time, but for a while now its got to the point that I just have a complete mental block when we kiss or have sex. It is like something chemical in my brain has gone. I know this is very bad but what I don't know is (1) why?? and (2) can I solve it anyway which doesn't involve us breaking up?

I've been to counseling, to address other issues in the relationship, and made some good progress on those. When I discussed this with the counselor, she thought the sex issue would improve once the other issues were resolved. I can't say the other issues are 100% resolved, but they are much improved. But the sex issue isn't.

I've talked with my girlfriend about it. She is very upset. We've not come up with any answers. She thinks I have stopped "fancying" her. I don't really know what this means. She's gorgeous, I know that. So what's the problem?

The most the internet has given me on this is that "it happens". I need a better answer...

Cheers

XB

[iamaninnocentma]

You're not from Afghanistan. ****ing racist.

[XB678]

Oh, I hadn't realised I'd picked the wrong country. Nevermind.

[iamaninnocentma]

Yeah, thats what they all say. How can we give you proper advices if we dont know where you are from? Just picking a random muslim country reeks of bigotry. Not on my watch mister.

[kageri]

How creative are you? Perhaps you are just bored with the same old thing. It's easy to get in to a habit of doing the same acts for sex over and over again with no creativity. The spark just fades. Sometimes sex can even begin to feel like work. I've been there.

[searock]

I agree with kageri - maybe the sex got boring because you always did the same things and never tried anything new? Or maybe you are depressed, or particularly stressed in this period? Has she changed in any way (weight gain/loss, doesn't dress sexy anymore, etc)? I'm just trying to find possible causes. Does any of these hypotheses ring a bell?

[bebaba]

Afghanistan is usually the first one on the countries list - easy mistake to make.

I was a female in this situation but it turned out that my ex who did not want sex (for a year) had been abused as a child. There are many underlying issues that could be at play.

Counselling is all well and good but you definitely need to see a sex therapist here.