I'm a 28-year-old woman. I'm dating a 32-year-old guy. We've been seeing each other for almost a year, and oddly, we are each other's second sexual partner ever... he was married before we got together. I was in a long, long relationship. When we first got together, we were having sex like two, sometimes even three times a day. We've had a very unusual relationship... I won't get into all the details because I could go on all day, but we've traveled around the world together and have lived with each other for up to a month at a time. A month ago, about 10 months into this relationship, we started to live together again temporarily while we looked for our places to live in the city we just moved to.
Although we've lived together for a month before in the past with no problem, this time, we started getting on each other's nerves. Very abruptly, he seemed very disinterested in sex with me... and we were having it only once every couple of days (in comparison to 2-3 times a day). Every time we kissed, he'd back out of the kiss early, as if he were afraid it were going to lead to sex.
We moved out of the place we were in into separate places, got into a huge fight, broke up for a few days, and are now back together again. Things between us are perfectly fine now... but it seems like he is still having weird issues with sex. Not that he's not interested in sex with me... but whenever we have it, he either takes forever to finish or simply doesn't finish at all. I've been trying to just get him to relax and chill out but he keeps telling me he feels a lot of pressure. Knowing it'll hurt my feelings, he comes up with excuses to get out of sex... usually like, "I need to go work on [something]" or "I'm too tired. It's too early." I'm not pressring him when he comes up with these excuses... just kissing him and not saying anything.
I don't know what the problem is. After getting back together after this breakup, we now see each other only a few times a week and we're only having sex maybe two times a week. I don't know how to make him feel any less pressured. I've tried taking things slowly. I've even told him, "Hey I don't care what happens, as long as you enjoy it." It doesn't seem to matter. I know the "honeymoon phase" ends eventually, but it just seems so abrupt and I can't help but wonder if there is something I'm missing.... and in a way, it feels like I'm having to go backwards in the relationship to accomodate.