I need help!!

[khb]

Hi,
When i met my boyfriend we were clubbing. When we started our relationship we always clubbed together. But lately (for the last 6 months) we never club together. I always party with my friends and he parties with his. When he does he always drinks so much that he barely knows his name. And when he drinks so much he gets angry and says bad things to me and these words really hurt. Every time he goes out with his friends something goes wrong. I always ask him to not come home so late, not later than 6am, because i don�t like being home alone. And he promises me that he wont, but he fails every time. I ask him to not drink so much so he wont say these things to me, but he does not listen to that either, he comes home waisted. Last time he called me at 5am and asked me to come and pick hi up, i did and waited for him for 15minutes, i called him and he said: oh, i see you, im coming. He never came and i called him back, he said: im in a taxi and almost home. I was so furious because he woke me up and begged me to come pick him up. That night i slept in the sofa because when we were going to sleep he started crying and i kept on asking him what was wrong and he would not tell me. Then he said, get the **** out. The morning after we had plans at 10am so i woke him up but he was so angry and out of the world (still waisted). I cried because i really needed him with me, because i could not do this thing we planned alone. But he refused to get up. Then after 15minutes of crying and we were really late he finally gave up. One time when we had been dating for two months he kissed another girl. He was trying to make his ex jealous because there she was, at the club, at the same time as him, looking at him when he did it. I was in another country shopping shoes for him when i found out. My friends were there and saw the whole thing. About two months ago he told me he was going to take that wekend easy and play fifa with his friend. I new that that night would turn out to be a crappy night for me. I had this feeling that this night would end badly. I was in at a girlfriends birthday party when he called me. He said: hi, im going to the club with my friend tonight. I heard that he was drunk. I got so angry because after all those crappy nights he would still do this to me!! I said: i cant do this!! i know how this night is going to end! i am going to be alone all night and you are going to come home wasted. I was so angry and pissed of and hurt that this was going to happen so i said: its either me or going down town one night and get waisted. He said: stop it! This is going to be fine. I said: i am serious, i cant do this anymore. He said: i am going to hang up. He hang up and did not care how i felt.
These stories are just few of many. Now i am sitting here so angry. For about a week ago he told me he was going to his friends birthday party. I was so angry, for the 100th time and asked him not to drink. He said okay. I was so happy. Tonight he got ready and then he said, i am leaving, bye love you. I said: are you not going by car? he said no my friend is picking me up. I thought instantly: oh god he is coming home waisted tonight. I asked him: are you going to drink? He said: just few beers.
I am so angry and i dont know what to do!! Pleeease give me some advices??. I think it is really wrong to tell him to stop drinking just for me, or is it?? I really need to get some answers.

[kks]

You must tell him to stop drinking,alcohol is a really bad thing,it destroys everything whats in its way by the people who consume it,personal expirience If he cant do this for you,sorry,but he is a weak person in my opinion.

[Love'sReject]

One time when we had been dating for two months he kissed another girl. He was trying to make his ex jealous because there she was, at the club, at the same time as him, looking at him when he did it.

Wow, that is ****ED up. He clearly still LOVES his ex and the fact that he would cheat to spite her says this guy isn't worth sht (perhaps one of the roots of his alcoholism). This guy's a loser.

[Love'sReject]

You must tell him to stop drinking,alcohol is a really bad thing,

She's not his mother. The way he is handling the alcohol is actually what is wrong, not alcohol itself; it can be a fine thing, but like guns, power and money, who wields it turns out to be the cause of problems.

[khb]

so what should i do?

[ttylox]

He is who he is - and from the sounds of it, he's always been this way. Quit asking him not to drink when you know full well he's going to anyway. I cannot understand people who continue to be shocked every time when the principles of cause and effect continue to stand.

He will tell you that he's not going to drink, or say "just a few beers" even though he *knows* he is planning on getting shithoused because you have made asking for forgiveness is much easier than asking permission.

My advice: stand up for yourself. Don't make it so easy this time. Do NOT roll over for him. He's lying to you, he's been lying to you and he does it because he knows you'll just take it. If you stop taking it (even if that means leaving him for good) then he'll quit feeding it to you.

From the biggest jerk, manwhore on the planet:
“Ladies, let me give you some advice. You can throw all your stupid fvcking chick-lit, self-help, why-doesn't-he-love-me books out, because this is all you need to know: Men will treat you the way you let them. There is no such thing as "deserving" respect; you get what you demand from people.. if you demand respect, he will either respect you or he won't associate with you. It really is that simple.”
― Tucker Max, I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell

[Love'sReject]

Eh, this guy doesn't even sound like he's worth the effort...but as chicks will do, it's easier to crawl back to the douchebag rather than do the right thing which is dump the sonuvabitch.

[khb]

[QUOTE=ttylox;842571]I cannot understand people who continue to be shocked every time when the principles of cause and effect continue to stand.

I am shocked every time because i love him so much so i believe every time that he will change, as strange as it is, its true

[Love'sReject]

You can't change a person; a person only changes when/if they want to. You can keep believing it will happen and try as you might, it won't make a lick of difference if he doesn't care.

[kks]

She's not his mother. The way he is handling the alcohol is actually what is wrong, not alcohol itself; it can be a fine thing, but like guns, power and money, who wields it turns out to be the cause of problems.

Man is stupid and has no idea were are his limits,thats a fact,and its better to not know them then to try and to fail,and belive me you will always fail if you try or worse to break the limits and then you make it but if you look behind,you more ruined than make thats through history on every event clear to see Ex:man has been to the moon oo thats not a big deal its like you going to me in Montenegro its just a place,but nobody sad how many people doing that died or how much space junk they left,and you realize my point.
And she is his girlfriend she has the right and an moral obligation to make him stop drinking

[Love'sReject]

Man is stupid and has no idea were are his limits,thats a fact,and its better to not know them then to try and to fail,and belive me you will always fail if you try or worse to break the limits and then you make it but if you look behind,you more ruined than make thats through history on every event clear to see Ex:man has been to the moon oo thats not a big deal its like you going to me in Montenegro its just a place,but nobody sad how many people doing that died or how much space junk they left,and you realize my point.
And she is his girlfriend she has the right and an moral obligation to make him stop drinking

If that were the case, then every social drinker would be a hardcore alcoholic going by your logic but it is a fact that some, in fact, a good many drinkers can be responsible drinkers, such as myself.

The trip to the moon was a huge accomplishment in human history, what are you talking about? Not wholly or at all relevant to the thread, but give credit where it is due; it is not analogous to taking a trip to some nice vacation resort.

She's not his wife or his mother; in fact, morally imposing on others is a sign of one's one moral weakness so other than parental instilling of morals, I don't think it is altogether good to go around gallivanting with morals.

[kks]

Thats not true,or it is for now but someday you will see that i was right P.S. Infact she has that right you dont now your country's rights thats bad man...research

[Love'sReject]

What in hell are you talking about? What "rights"?

[reeba]

From DAY 1 of the relationship, you knew he drank too much. Isn't like it is a new development.

The problem you have a boyfriend that drinks too much is 100% your fault. You were well aware of what he was when you started dating. And you still picked him to be your boyfriend.

[khb]

From DAY 1 of the relationship, you knew he drank too much. Isn't like it is a new development.

nope thats not right, i never said that i knew that and i didnt. i am not saying he does it every wekend.