What do I do??

[Mewtwo1414]

Hello everybody, my name is Pedro, ok, so anyways, there's this girl that at the first moment I saw her in high school, I feel head over heals for her. Unfourtinally though, I could never bring up the courage to talk to her, so it stayed just an infatuation. Then, years later, I found and added her on MySpace, and to my surprise, she added me and replied to my messages. We messaged eachother on MySpace, and even talked on the phone, then one day we were toying with eachother, making fun of eachother, then I ended up saying something that offended her, so she deleted and stopped talking to me for about a year and a half, until I decided; since MySpace died and Facebook got popular, why not try addeding her on Facebook, and to my surprise, she accepted my request, I sent her a message asking her if she remembered me , that we stopped talking because I said something that offended her, and she said "lol, yea."

So then we'd go on to talk to eachother everyday on Facebook. We could never talk n the phone because I didn't have a phone at the time, but even so we talked a lot on Facebook. I told her everything; how I felt, that she was my dream girl, that she's all I've ever wanted, and so on and so fourth. She would tell me that she's flattered and that it doesn't creep her out. She would always tell me how I need a job or to go back to school, that I needed to start living for myself. This would continue for about a year and a half, then when she got a job, I decided I would finally meet her in person while she's working, I of course first asked her if this was ok and she said yes. So I went to her job and when she first saw me she smiled, then I ordered food and ate and talked to her whenever I got the chance to.

That was defiantly the best day of my life. Then, about 2 weeks afterwards, she would tell me that she has a bf now, but this didn't stop us from talking. We would slowly start to talk less and less do to her working, and spending time with her bf, but we still talked every now and then. Then one day I messaged her like around 2 am and didn't get a reply, so I went to sleep, the next day she messaged me back saying not to message her that late because her bf doesn't like it, so I said ok, I respect that. That same night her bf messages me saying basically the same thing she told me, but was acting all high and mighty, so I messaged him back stating that she's her own woman, and that she already told me not to message her that late, and that I didn't like him threading me, then I said to him that he better treat her right and not hurt her, otherwise we'd have problems. He then started acting big again saying now we do have problems. The next day she messaged me saying "no I didn't get slick with her bf, he's bigger and older then me." So I told her that age and size don't matter, that I'm a man and I have my pride, and then I sent her the message he spent me and then the message I sent him, she then said "now I'm going have to stop talking to me and delete me," and what a mess I made. I told her that if she did delete me to know that I really did care about her and that I hope she never forgets about me.

She deleted me, time passed, then this summer, I started college, trying to better myself,. She was always in my mind though but I knew I had to move on. Time would pass, then like 3 months later, she messaged me, asking how I was doing, and stating that she can't talk long, I told her about me going to collage now, and so on and so fourth, and that I hope her life was going as good as mine, and she said "trying, and that she's happy for me," I then told her that she a strong woman and that she can make her like anything she wants it to be, and that after all, she's not a loser like me(so always called me a loser). She told me "oh please, but thank you" and then we said bye, and I haven't herd from her for like a month in a half now. Now she's a very complex woman, very independent and self motivated, not just any man can Handel the type of woman she is, so something tells me that their relationship won't last.

Now, I've tried to convince myself to move on and forget about her, but I always dream and think about her, and it's hard, and ever since she messeged me again, it's gotten even stronger. My question is, should I messege her asking how she's doing, or no, wait and see if she messeged me again. Or should I wait until my life is more together and I have a job, before I messege her.

HELP ME PLEASE, my heart is bursting. Oh, and I've never had a gf before and I'm still a virgin if that means anything.

[basilandthyme]

Mewtwo, paragraphs are your friend. A few more would make you message much easier to read.

Sorry to say that this girl not only has a boyfriend, but really doesn't seem to be much into you anyway. Put your efforts into someone who feels equal passion for you.

Good luck.

[guitarman17]

Hey man. I'm a guy, so sorry about responding if you were only looking for girl's answers. But I wanted to give you my two cents.
I've been in a somewhat similar situation where I've been hung up on this one girl for a long time. Over 4 years now. However, it's different in that I've gotten with a few other girls in that time period. But let me just keep the "about me" short by telling you that I know how you feel as far as the dream girl feelings.

Anyways, I've learned from my mistakes, and one of the major things I've learned is that you SHOULD NOT, ever tell the girl you are head over heels for her at that early stage.
Keep it to yourself. I'd recommend reading this article, it sums it up nicely why - google "coming on too strong ask men".
Basically, you'll make yourself too easy for her.

I think you should definitely make sure your life is more together before talking to her. It will make you much more desirable than someone who has nothing but is trying to cling to her.
If you have your life together, she'll also stop feeling like the only girl in the world and other opportunities will open up.
Just a few months ago, I was so stuck up on my dream girl that I couldn't even function properly.

I went on with my life, stopped talking to her, and you know what? She messages me sometimes, and in addition I have other girls talking to me.
Overall - I'm gonna repeat the same stuff you hear from everyone. It's true though. Keep busy, have a life, be social, and the rest will follow. I promise.

[kageri]

Paragraphs are your friend and basic english writing skills. :p


I doubt you have a shot with this girl and I doubt you truly want one. She's deleted you 3 times now which should be obvious enough it isn't going to work. She got a bf while supposedly so seriously talking to you. She sees you as a loser. You are a friend who conveniently comes and goes when she needs someone to talk to and that's it. That's probably all you'll ever be.

[Mewtwo1414]

Well, she did delete me because of my mistakes, but that's not the point I guess. I don't know, I mean, why was it that the first girl I fell for at first sight, out of all the girls I would try talking to online, she's the only one to stick for so long. Idk, I know I should move on, but something's telling me that once I'm heading in the right path, things will be different, but maybe that's false hope:/

[Mewtwo1414]

Oh, and also, it's not about me being with her, it's about me being in her life, just being friends is good enough for me, I just want to be there for her.

[kageri]

If she really felt something for you she would not delete you for one offense. If she really felt anything even extremely close friendship she would stand up for you with her boyfriend or at least try to smooth things over so you can stay in her life instead of deleting you again. She's conveniently throwing you out of her life whenever you get annoying and then probably coming back when she has no one to talk to. That's not a good recipe for a relationship.

[guitarman17]

I agree with Kageri - That said, I know it can suck being told "just move on and get over it".
The way I kept myself sane in situations like this was to do my best to be optimistic and hope that it would still work out.
But even if I didn't, I'd get over it as a byproduct of being optimistic and happier about my life.

[searock]

You have some serious issues. Yours is an unhealthy obsession, if I were her I would be freaked out. Get some therapy to help you, and whatever you do, don't contact her again (even if she contacts you first).

[Mewtwo1414]

Well, thanks for all ur help guys, I've decided that I'll just wait n see wat happens, either she'll messege me again sometime in the future, or I'll find someone else, who knows what life will bring me.