Paying my wife for sex...

[Andy_Defresne]

I have what I'm sure is somewhat of a common problem. I have a high sex drive and my wife does not. Usually we have sex about once or twice a week but to be honest I could go pretty much every day. When we do have sex it's decent...but I tend to like a little foreplay (to be honest I prefer giving than receiving if that helps), and sometimes a bit of kinky stuff (toys etc.) whereas she usually prefers to just skip that and get to the good stuff...to keep the whole process shorter I suppose. Sometimes she'll offer to have sex when I know she clearly doesn't want to, but I don't like taking advantage of those situations. I understand that lately she feels more stressed out and a lot more tired (kids, job change etc.). Once in a while we bust it out and have really good sex but it's certainly become more rare. It's gotten to the point where my mind has started wandering...but I don't want it to wander. The sad thing is (I guess it's not sad really) is that I really
REALLY want my wife, and my wife only. I am just as attracted to her as the day we first met and she turns me on just as much now as she ever did.

So I've come up with what I thought was a decent solution. To pay my wife for sex...or extra sex above and beyond if that makes sense.

But before all of you gasp let me expand a touch...

She enjoys shopping, but feels she needs to hide some or all of her purchases in fear of upsetting me for spending too much (did I mention she enjoys shopping?). She's upset in that she's working so hard, not making a ton of money right at
the moment and just about all of her pay cheque is going towards bills, loans etc. as does mine. My job however, allows me to make a little extra cash on the side. I really don't spend any money on myself. So what I was thinking is I'd offer
her a bit of extra cash (that she can do whatever she wants with) in exchange for a bit of extra spice in the bedroom. She seems to have some kind of fantasy anyway about strippers and high end escorts (I'm thinking she sees some sort of
glamour in this?) so I thought it could also be presented perhaps as a bit of a role playing idea.

Is this a horrible idea? Will it wreck our marriage? Has anyone else done this before?

[searock]

I don't think it's a good idea. It depends on the person though... try to imagine the scene in your mind, in which you tell her about your idea. How does she react?

[Negan]

There's nothing unusual or strange with your situation. You're just married, and try making yourself comfortable because you're going to live with it haha. But don't pay her for sex man. Just take it like a man and learn how to live with it. I suggest masturbation to the most kinky stuff made by mankind

[kageri]

If I attempted such an idea I wouldn't offer the money directly. I'd ask her what she wants to go buy and say we'll do it after/before sex. Offer the item or the trip not the money so it's an exchange and compromise but you aren't exactly paying her like a stripper.

[searock]

If I attempted such an idea I wouldn't offer the money directly. I'd ask her what she wants to go buy and say we'll do it after/before sex. Offer the item or the trip not the money so it's an exchange and compromise but you aren't exactly paying her like a stripper.

This would just keep the bad parts and throw away the "good" parts (assuming that she really has a stripper fantasy or something). The "bad" part is that he would basically bribe her in exchange for sex, which should be something that she enjoys doing as much as him, something that they do together and not something that she gives him... especially not in exchange for something else. At least, that's how I think it should be, and why I think she might take it the wrong way (if there even is a right way).

[dem862]

If you are okay with it, and she is okay with it, then go for it. If libidos don't match up, and money is an incentive, then you both are getting what you want.

[vashti]

sometimes a bit of kinky stuff (toys etc.) whereas she usually prefers to just skip that and get to the good stuff...to keep the whole process shorter I suppose.

No, that's probably NOT it. Why would she want to use toys when there is a man in bed next to her?

[IndiReloaded]

Toys are okay too.

Didn't we have this thread last year w/some guy wanting to get off by paying his wife like a hooker?

[kageri]

Why would she want to use toys when there is a man in bed next to her?

I use toys in bed with my husband all the time. He can cum one time, I can do it 10 times... do the math. There's no way his sex drive can compete with mine. Then there are times I don't orgasm before he does. Having a guy finish while you just lay there not even close or frustrating close is a good way to get in this very situation where the woman doesn't want sex. Toys can fix that.

[kageri]

The "bad" part is that he would basically bribe her in exchange for sex, which should be something that she enjoys doing as much as him,

She should but for some reason she doesn't. If he's fine with bribing her instead of her enjoying it and she's fine with taking bribes then who's to say it's wrong. Ideally we would go off on a tangent and find out why she is not enjoying sex and fix that but that was not the point started in this thread.

[bluesummer]

I don't know, OP. Wouldn't it feel weird to have sex with your wife knowing she's only doing it because you're giving her something in return? Knowing she doesn't actually want sex but is just 'getting it over with' for your sake? I could never sleep with my husband knowing he was totally not into it and just doing it because I wanted. Sounds awful. I mean, it sounds like you love your wife. Are you just hoping that giving her incentive to do it more will make her realize what's she's missing, so to speak?

[Wakeup]

This Opening Post is like "A Christmas Story" It plays every year around this time.

[VincenzoG91]

How would you be paying your wife? Do you two have separate bank accounts? Otherwise, it would like me paying myself by moving money from one pocket to another.

Don't do it. If your wife is even remotely normal, she will be offended that you want to treat her like a whore, and not just in a sexy role-playing way. If you're having sex once or twice a week, that's not too shabby, and it's way more than you are likely to get after your wife feels demeaned by your offer.

[vashti]

I use toys in bed with my husband all the time. He can cum one time, I can do it 10 times... do the math. There's no way his sex drive can compete with mine. Then there are times I don't orgasm before he does. Having a guy finish while you just lay there not even close or frustrating close is a good way to get in this very situation where the woman doesn't want sex. Toys can fix that.

Eh, the guy I am sleeping with wouldn't dare finish and leave me "laying there". I guess not all men are good that way.

[steviej]

This Opening Post is like "A Christmas Story" It plays every year around this time.

I was going to say i'm having deja vu reading that post!

Definitely a copy and paste job word for word.