Codependency, yay!

[Love'sReject]

Of the not significant total of friends I've had, almost all were guys who invariably ditched me, didn't particularly care for anything I liked or very often what I said and liked the same boring routines. I always thought "loyalty" meant something among guys but as soon as they met girls, I'd seldom see them. I always said I'd never do that; and then it struck me that "loyalty" means nothing. I gave up chances to hang out with others because I thought our friendships were too good to let slip away; instead, it's rare that I go out once a week, that's a treat. Instead, I have to take myself out; to the library, games, etc.

So theoretically, if I ever had a chance with a girl, couldn't whatever theoretical charms and traits I have overcome the lack of a decent number of friends? I guess that would be placing a girl at the center of my world but that's what I'd always really wanted: I haven't fully enjoyed any of my favorite hobbies and pastimes without thinking about how much better it would be if I had a girlfriend. She wouldn't have even had to be present; just knowing I finally had one.

Now it's not that I am completely without friends, but I rarely see them since they're extraordinarily flaky (bailed on me twice this weekend alone for something of uber importance to me; Skyfall, by the way). If I ever had a girlfriend again, I'd probably drop those guys except maybe very, very casual friendships (I'd always dreamt of going back on what I said earlier and ditch those guys for a girl to spite them; I mean, it would be flattering to have the guys wonder where I was and when we'd all hang out again just like I had to spend all those summers, winters, springs, holidays, weekends, weekdays).

It isn't as though I'd stay with this one girl and push to get married; quite the opposite, actually. If we broke up, I'd finally be content with myself for the rest of time in having achieved my biggest desire.

What would this suggest to you?

Hm, no replies yet everything around still has managed to get some even given that most members seem to be overseas where it is extremely late whereas for myself, it is still early...my lack of popularity everywhere, especially among the "friends" listed above lends strongly to suicide. Why live when you're not important?

[Wakeup]

Oh for goodness sakes, LR. You need to first be happy within and be able to entertain and love yourself before you do anything else. You're young. Get off of this site and get out there and join some real groups of people that like the same things you do. (WoW or any other computer game doesn't count ~ get off the computer).

Who sits around and laments about giving up so called friendships for a girl that doesn't yet exist? First go find the girl and then don't give up everything for her, it's the dumbest thing you could ever do. You need to have a life of your own then you can add a girl to your already full-filled existence. You shouldn't plan to make a girl your entire reason for getting up in the morning... that is one huge burden you'd be putting on any woman that is worth having. Issued chicks who can't function on their own, those that wouldd put you in that burdened position will only cause you grief and kill your joy.

What do you like to do that would put you around lots of single women? Do you do any real live sports? For instance; my daughter met her now husband on a co-ed baseball team in our community.

[Love'sReject]

I tried that once; I tricked myself into acting happy and do it convincingly in public. 5 days later, like all the years before that, I still had no girlfriend. And proceeded to get ditched, as per usual.

We sadly don't have groups or organizations for my interests. But that's Orange County life; it's fit in or get yourself fitted for a coffin.

I am planning on planning badminton at the school I go to next semester. Dunno if chicks go for that but I don't think it'd matter; I don't fall into the sports subcliques.

[Wakeup]

You tried what once? Pretending to be happy is not what I suggested you do.

[Love'sReject]

I do the things recommended to me (do the things I enjoy, try to keep my mind off of it) but it's just too important to not think of. I learned pickup lines, uploaded strategic photos, walked about with confidence...and nothing.

[Wakeup]

Those things are NOT things that will make you happy. What do you actually like to do? What do you do that makes you feel like you've accomplished something worthwhile? What are your interests? You can't expect others to find you interesting if you're not interesting?

[Love'sReject]

Above all else, I like girls and doing things with girls (not sexual; never had sex and definitely didn't intend any sexual subtext there). The things that make me feel accomplished are learning (reading several books, weighing what I read and seeing if I just read it or actually learned anything), bike riding, hockey, philosophy and challenging conversation.

So....sht that certainly doesn't get a guy laid if that is what a guy is looking for and definitely sht that doesn't get a guy a girlfriend if that's what he's looking for, like I am.

[Wakeup]

You do know that there is such an animal as the over-populated hockey groupie, right? Do you play or are you a sofa coach? If your main object is to get laid then start doing things that are popular with the ladies. But, don't pretend... actually get involved and love what you're doing. You're a defeatest and that in itself is very unattractive. Change it up and start being a positive, involved person instead of a negative, uninvolved poser.

[Love'sReject]

No; I can hardly register the meaning of that. I was thinking of playing once I can afford it but that and all the other "in the future, if I do this, with any luck I might get a date within the next 40 years" doesn't do me much good NOW. The present is all that matters and is certain.

I'm white so I can't dance, even if I tried to learn but clubgoing girls are so horrifically brainless and ghetto (I don't profess to be very tolerant or nonjudgmental; too much tolerance in the world is a bad thing).

I'm a defeatist because I do things based on evidence and not faith; how could I believe in myself if no evidence exists to suggest that I should? The evidence towards the opposite is abundant. Of course, if I had a girlfriend, I could look at that and see that I apparently was worthy of a relationship; thus, until or if that happens, how can I be sure about myself?

How am I a "poser", though? I only do things I have legitimate interest in and only converse with others for the same reason. I don't go out of my way to be fake and offer saccharine feedback or chum it up with dbags that I hate.

[Wakeup]

*waves bubye* I won't deal with people who can NEVER see past their own negative nose and the comfort they take from their own perceived misery. I will tell you why you're a poser though.. the answer is right in your own words.

I tried that once; I tricked myself into acting happy

[Love'sReject]

I didn't dispute my negative nature and I can assure you, it is not of comfort to be a miser.

[HeartIsAching]

Wakeup, he's a troll. One of the better ones, IMO, because he actually gets regulars to respond to him seriously.

[basilandthyme]

Gotta be honest mate, between the negative nature and the self professed intolerance to others, you're going to be single and friendless for a loooong time. You say that your friends are flaky and that you don't have many....well, I think your attitude to life could well be the real reason they don't want to hang with you.

Have you considered counselling? Or could depression be an issue? Instead of moaning about all your woes, I suggest you start to address the issues which turn people away from you.

[Love'sReject]

Wakeup, he's a troll. One of the better ones, IMO, because he actually gets regulars to respond to him seriously.

No, guy. I am being perfectly cereal...So please refrain from any further libel.

[Wakeup]

Wakeup, he's a troll. One of the better ones, IMO, because he actually gets regulars to respond to him seriously.

That's what ALL trolls do so if he is one, getting regulars to reply seriously doesn't make him one of the better ones.

No, guy. I am being perfectly cereal...

you're being perfectly "cereal?" What whole grain or multi?