Guys what do you think?

[janexxx]

Hi

Ok I'm 41 and my BF is 48 we've been together for 4 years and living together for 1 year. I kept having a gut feeling that something wasnt quite right so I managed to get his password and checked his internet viewing history and found him on a swingers website emailing other women, I also found out that he had been emailing a woman friend of his dirty/flirty emails. I totally get that there is an issue here with me needing to check him out and spy on him, however, so glad I did coz would rather no the truth. I owned up to him what I had done and found and we nearly split up, however, he said he was sorry and that there was never anything real it was all just a bit of fun hidden behind the computer screen - so we are still together although I have to admit I feel very wary and do still occasionally check up on him. As far as I can see all the swinger stuff has stopped, however, recently I;ve found he has been checking out his ex on FB they never finished in a friendly way and no longer see or speak to one another. She blocked him on FB and he has set up a dummy account just so he can check her out - I totally dont get it all he can see is a few pics of her - he views her 2/3 times a week. Is this normal, is he just being nosey or do you think he is still hung up on her? I've tried asking him about his ex (without telling him that I've checked his viewing history) and he just tells me that he doesnt care about her and is so glad he is with me.

Blimey just read this back and really I dont know why I'm still with this guy - trouble is he is so lovely to me and I do love him. He tells me all the time how much he loves me and we get on really well - thanks for reading x

[haxan]

What do I think? That you're just really desperate for a man in your life, that you're easy to lie to and that you'll pretty much believe what you want to here to feel loved and wanted.

Not a dig on you babe, it's human nature to want to be loved and have someone in your life. There are tons of women putting up with the exact same shit you are and more just to not be single.

Advice? Break it off with this loser (easier said than done), learn to appreciate yourself and find a guy who's into "you".

[Pandy_B]

You said, "really I dont know why I'm still with this guy - trouble is he is so lovely to me and I do love him. He tells me all the time how much he loves me and we get on really well" -- this is the answer to your question. His trivial flirtations and his nostalgia for his old girlfriend are not "red flags" but sad ones. He isn't being creative in his life and this what happens, you try to regress to previous situation if only mentally. Be patient. Stay with him if the words I quoted from you are true. Would you like to be judged so harshly if he knew of your own flaws and peccadilloes? He needs the kind of attention you can give him.

[iskandarzoux]

Stay strong girl

[dem862]

Would you like to be judged so harshly if he knew of your own flaws and peccadilloes?

I don't see where she mentioned anything about having any pets.

[smackie9]

Ya now you add he has been seeking out other women on the net.....my advice has now changed. He has already left your relationship even tho he still sleeps in the same bed as you. It's time that you leave him, because there is no reason for you to stay anymore.

[HeartIsAching]

Haxan and Smackie have it.

It's time for you to go. I'd wager that he's not really done, he's just hiding better.