how to deal with wish-washiness?

[newdax]

why are men wish washes? Alas it seems i always keep on being attracted to such types and alas i did fall for one again

The main facts:
- Me and him met in a very lusty way yet without any physical acts.
- In the following days / weeks we realized we have a lot in common and that we wanted to be with each other.
- He would introduce me to all as his girlfriend after the 1st week and would make jealousy scenes if any guy would show interest in me.
- Had our first argument at my birthday because he didn’t come… but sent pictures instead.
- After 3 weeks he would be strange and not really answering.. contacting me only from time to time... but when we would meet up he would be really great in my confronts.
- After 5 weeks he would tell me he’s dating another girl, started that affair 2 months before me… and if he wants to be in a serious relationship with me, he needs to break up with her. My reaction was to tell him to put his mind back together and come back at me when he would know... so as not to play with both of us.
- Between week 5 and week 8 he would be quiet, but he would send a message from time to time to ask how I am, and tell me he still cant decide if he wants me or the other girl… that he likes us both… we would meet sometimes in a bar and once again, he would be very considerate and I would have the feeling that I am the only one.
- Last week, he broke up with the other girl, but did not tell me about it. I found about it this week… and I found out that he slept with some other girl on a toilet
But he would defend himself and say he didn’t, that those are lies...

I have the feeling it's as if he tried to keep me attached to him (maybe as a back door) but in the mean time didn’t care...

Once he said he was scared of me, coz he had the feeling one day I would hurt him bad.. that's when he told me about that other girl and became all aloof yet proceeding with the attention and jealousy scenes.

Could you please explain me such behavior???? Because Girls might be complicated, but this is not really easy to understand as well

[searock]

It is easy... he isn't interested in you, he just wants the sex you provide him from time to time. If he were interested in you, he would have ended it with the other girl (if she even existed) a long time ago, and he would have told you as soon as he did, instead of "sleeping" with other girls on toilets.

[newdax]

1/ the other girl exists, we have friends in common, so both the fact they were together and broke up got confirmed from other sources and him
2/ he wasn't getting any for weeks. I wouldn't bed someone who has 2 girls at the same time... that's why I told him to clean up the mess in his life first... and somehow I was trying to get over it and consider this whole thing as terminated... But he would still keep in touch and be this super sweet person. That's what I don't understand. why such game?

[searock]

So he was seeing another girl... he didn't break up with her to be with you. This means he isn't interested.
He was keeping in touch because he hoped that he would get more sex from you sooner or later.

[HeartIsAching]

So he was seeing another girl... he didn't break up with her to be with you. This means he isn't interested.
He was keeping in touch because he hoped that he would get more sex from you sooner or later.

Yeah... not interested. Also a cheater - you shouldn't be interested, unless you like being cheated on.