I am a 19 years old girl who is considered very beautiful and attractive. But, I am very emotionally chaotic. No doubt about that. I have been asked out by many guys & rejected ALL of them. Recently, a very nice guy proposed me and I said no only because of my obsession with another man. That man is no one but an administrator in my university who is 55 years old man. He makes eye contact with me and stares at me and flirted with me. But it was just that. The problem is that I am having an intense obsession(i guess so) with him. Please let me know if it is an obsession
1) From the moment my mind wakes up in the Morning till the last thought in night before sleeping, its about him, its connected to him.
2) I have LEFT and stopped talking to ALL my friends and all those guys who were intensely interested in me. I have received 100 emails till now from the people who wanted to contact me & have replied NONE. I have actually thrown my cell phone and deactivated my Facebook and don't talk much to anyone in the college either. I have rejected guys of my age, 2,3,4,5,6 years older than me, 1,2 years younger than me, for a man 36 years older than me. I have daddy issues, but not THIS much!
3) The reason for all this social communication ending was that I wanted to think about him & only him. If I talk to someone, i get bored unless they are talking about him, which they do not. I do not communicate anymore with my siblings or parents and stay in a locked room.
4) I have started listening music and thinking about him. I keep viewing his pictures. I keep imagining that I am talking to him & sharing my feelings.
5) I have seen him in my dreams at-least 50 times till now.
6) Wherever I go out of home, I see him in every person on the road, in the hospital or at the mall.
7) At my college, where he works, my eyes keep looking for him & when I happen to see him from great distances, my heartbeat races, and I get anxious and feel too shy to talk to him.
8) I have rejected all the offers of friendships, relationships & marriages just to fantasize & think about this person.
9) The 75% of fantasies I have about him are usually that I am talking to him or he is listening to me & understanding me. I am making him laugh and enjoying & sharing my feelings and acting anything around him. The remaining 25% of fantasies are romantic, sexual, having a home together, cuddling etc.
10) When I go to college where he works, I am okay and usually just look for him everywhere. I don't go out of home anymore because I feel bored as he wont be there and I will be deprived of my music and his pictures. At home, I am too lazy to do anything other than thinking about him. I feel like I am paralyzed and cannot even move my body. It is just my mind working that is thinking about him & my heart that is beating him.
Do you think I am obsessed to this man?