...you might as well commit dating/relationship suicide if you don't "wow" or decently present yourself to their friends?

I think this is especially true for guys: women are known gossip-mongerers and given the emotional frailty of the common bird, they're excessively receptive to the dictates of their friends (is it a subtextual lesbian eroticism that you gals care so much about the guy your girl friend is going out with?). Guys are more into making choices independently.