What is my ex thinking?

[theone11]

Hey ladies this is my first post but I dont know what the hell is going on, maybe you can give me a clue...


-Both in our early 30s
-dated for 6 months
-I broke up with her but I had not choice as she kept doing things that would piss me off/be disrespectful/treat me bad for the last week. She knew it was going to come. Its almost like she wanted me to BU with her. So even though I am the dumper I feel like the dumpee.
-Not sure but think there was someone else although she denied it of course.
-When I dumped her the last time she took it in stride not tears like the other times...like she was ok with it.
-Since the BU I have never contacted her once. Its been 8 weeks hardcore no contact
-She has sent me probably 20 texts, mostly breadcrumbs but there was a couple really long ones saying she missed me and stuff and loves me. Wants me in her life blah blah. The last one was tonite saying I love you. Keep in mind all these texts are over a 8 week period.
-I have not responded to any of her 20 texts and havent responded to her since the day of the breakup.
-I have not responded to anything because I think she feels guilty for treating me bad and just wants to relieve he guilt and give her a ego boost.
-I feel responding to her at this point is a no win situation. It would just go back to the same **** or she wouldnt even respond, or hear things I dont want to.
-But why keep contacting me? Why is she so persistant? If she wanted to get back together wouldnt she just say it. And if she wanted me back wouldnt the texts be like a couple a week but more?
-Do I break NC at any point?
-How to play this if maybe I want her back?

Thanks to all those that reply.

[AGuy101]

You know what's going on. You just want us to tell you what to do; FYI your post is an attempt to give yourself an ego boost: FAIL.

But I shall answer. She pisses you off: so you dumped her. Change your number if you want her to stop bothering you. And, btw, there is a difference between "egoism" and "egotism."

Cheers.

[theone11]

You know what's going on. You just want us to tell you what to do; FYI your post is an attempt to give yourself an ego boost: FAIL.

But I shall answer. She pisses you off: so you dumped her. Change your number if you want her to stop bothering you. And, btw, there is a difference between "egoism" and "egotism."

Cheers.

Wow. I just wanted a womans opinion on what she is thinking. I did not want to dump her but I had to. It has nothing to do with ego boost at all. I just felt I had no choice in the situation.

[IndiReloaded]

Why would you want her back? What would be different?

[theone11]

Why would you want her back? What would be different?

Thats the thing I dont know. Thats why I havent responded. Problem is I still kinda like her. Whats your opinion on what shes thinking or where shes going with this, if anywhere. Btw thanks for the response.

[IndiReloaded]

If you don't know what she is thinking, we sure can't tell you.

I will say that if she felt bad for her actions, she would apologize sincerely. That's what decent people do (even if they aren't getting back together). I think you need to think about moving on. Six months is nothing, really.

[theone11]

If you don't know what she is thinking, we sure can't tell you.

I will say that if she felt bad for her actions, she would apologize sincerely. That's what decent people do (even if they aren't getting back together). I think you need to think about moving on. Six months is nothing, really.

In my experience it almost seems like the shorter ones are harder to get over. The longer ones seem easier for some stupid reason. I think the shorter ones are worse becuase your still on a high and it gets removed cold turkey.

[smackie9]

You broke up before, fought a lot, she was disrespectful, and you quoted "When I dumped her the last time she took it in stride not tears like the other times ..like she was ok with it.

She cried the other times? that tells me you have gone through this before A LOT...she's into drama for the damn attention. She loves to push your buttons until you lose it, she plays the victim and cries to see you get weakened by how you hurt her and you crumble back into her arms. She manipulates for control over you. She didn't cry this time because she figured she didn't need to for you would like all the other times and cave in. But what? to her surprise you didn't. She realizes that her crap didn't work this time, so she is in a panic that you are gone for good. That's why she has been texting you....she lost the control she had on you.

Dude be done with her, delete and block her number. If it's truly over, then you shouldn't be giving a rat's ass what the hell she is thinking.

[theone11]

You broke up before, fought a lot, she was disrespectful, and you quoted "When I dumped her the last time she took it in stride not tears like the other times ..like she was ok with it.

She cried the other times? that tells me you have gone through this before A LOT...she's into drama for the damn attention. She loves to push your buttons until you lose it, she plays the victim and cries to see you get weakened by how you hurt her and you crumble back into her arms. She manipulates for control over you. She didn't cry this time because she figured she didn't need to for you would like all the other times and cave in. But what? to her surprise you didn't. She realizes that her crap didn't work this time, so she is in a panic that you are gone for good. That's why she has been texting you....she lost the control she had on you.

Dude be done with her, delete and block her number. If it's truly over, then you shouldn't be giving a rat's ass what the hell she is thinking.

Thanks for the answer, never thought of it like this before. So you dont think its to relieve guilt or possibly get back? I think its to relieve guilt...thats why I havent responded.

[smackie9]

She is 30 something acting like a 19 year old. Low self esteem, insecure.....nut job.

[HeartIsAching]

I've been in this situation, nearly exactly - and Smackie's got it right. It's about drama and control. Run the **** away.

[IndiReloaded]

She didn't cry this time because she figured she didn't need to for you would like all the other times and cave in. But what? to her surprise you didn't. She realizes that her crap didn't work this time, so she is in a panic that you are gone for good. That's why she has been texting you....she lost the control she had on you.

I agree with this. When people are truly fed up with the drama they just leave. We don't know either of you. Probably you are both decent people who just aren't compatible. No amount of crying or BS will change that. Stop trying to be her **** buddy. You should be ripping the band-aid off, not prolonging each other's misery. If she won't do it, do it for her. Think of it as a last gift to her as a decent guy. The extra few orgasms won't be worth it. Remember, the next girl *will* judge you based on how your previous relationship went. Endings tell you a lot about a person.

[AGuy101]

You broke up before, fought a lot, she was disrespectful, and you quoted "When I dumped her the last time she took it in stride not tears like the other times ..like she was ok with it.

She cried the other times? that tells me you have gone through this before A LOT...she's into drama for the damn attention. She loves to push your buttons until you lose it, she plays the victim and cries to see you get weakened by how you hurt her and you crumble back into her arms. She manipulates for control over you. She didn't cry this time because she figured she didn't need to for you would like all the other times and cave in. But what? to her surprise you didn't. She realizes that her crap didn't work this time, so she is in a panic that you are gone for good. That's why she has been texting you....she lost the control she had on you.

Dude be done with her, delete and block her number. If it's truly over, then you shouldn't be giving a rat's ass what the hell she is thinking.

This is exactly it. This woman is a sadist. I listened to a podcast by a philosopher who talked about a similar situation. In that situation the woman kept a journal saying how she would pretend to like him, then dump the guy. But I really don't feel like elaborating on this that much.

But this will do it for you:

Where am I?
How do I know it?
What should I do?

Those are philosophic questions that no one can escape. If you default on them, then you are a puppet to anyone who decides to answer them. Here is an example of defaulting and the consequences:

Where am I?
-No one can be certain of that.
How do I know it?
-No one can know anything.
What should I do?
-Whatever everyone else is doing!!!!!!

You have to be able to say to yourself that you know that you exist. You know it because it is self-evident. And you will act to preserve your own life. If you cannot answer those first two questions then someone will answer the third for you. "Reason has been exhausted," "Uncertainty is certain," "There is no good."

If you do not answer those questions then you become someone else's "good."

You want this woman because she wants to rule and you want to be ruled. You feel guilt: that is unearned guilt. No one's claim to your life is a blank check of guilt; it only is if you default on that check.

[theone11]

She is 30 something acting like a 19 year old. Low self esteem, insecure.....nut job.

You nailed it.

[theone11]

I've been in this situation, nearly exactly - and Smackie's got it right. It's about drama and control. Run the **** away.

Worst relationship I have been in in my life. Yet I still like her...messed up world we live in. In any case Im not responding.