Fiance cheated with prostitute in amsterdam

[dilema]

Ok, so I've slept on it and given it a lot of thought. I think it's worth a try so I'm going to give him a chance but call the engagement off, lay down some ground rules and see how I feel in a couple of months (is it ok to do that?). If he ever does anything like this again it will be over. Does that sound fair?

[thebloodycoon]

Damn, I didn't wanna get involved here, cause I didn't want my advice to influence a possible marriage decision, but since no one else has said what I'm thinking all along, here goes: ask yourself this - if you gave some other dude a blowjob at some party, when you were drunk and all of your friends were doing it etc..., do you think he would have forgiven you? Maybe you can ask him this?

I myself believe that I would never forgive a serious girlfriend(let alone a fiance or wife) for blowing some other dude. I cannot be sure right now(since I haven't got one at the moment), but that's how I've felt in the past about girlfriends and as I said - I'm pretty sure I always will. So, if I go to Amsterdam and get a BJ and then confess it to my fiance, I would expect her to break up with me and never call me again. I would surely try to ask her for forgiveness etc... but I guess I would expect her to break us up and would eventually accept it.

But of course, that's all me, and furthermore - that's all hypothetical, so I don't know how valid the opinion expressed above is.

I just wanted to express it.

Thanks

[searock]

if you gave some other dude a blowjob at some party, when you were drunk and all of your friends were doing it etc..., do you think he would have forgiven you? Maybe you can ask him this?

Actually the equivalent would be of her receiving oral sex from another guy, in the same situation.

[thebloodycoon]

Actually the equivalent would be of her receiving oral sex from another guy, in the same situation.

That's true. However, I don't think that makes any difference, the point stays the same.

[AnnonymousMan]

Why is he so stupid as to tell you? He is an idiot. I would keep shit like that a secret till death lol. It is obvious that he wasn't thinking about you at the time in his drunken state. Have him checked for STDs because he might not of given you the entire story.

From his point of view, he wanted it at the time and got it along with his drunk buddies. In his eyes he must of thought nothing wrong about it. The only way you are going to get over it is to forgive him. Not an easy task and it will take a lot of effort on his part in convincing you that he was wrong and that he was an idiot.

If he was capable of doing it once, unless he learns from that mistake, he will do it again. Make 100% sure he grows from this experience otherwise he will not have learned anything and will do it again in the future.

[Wakeup]

Ok, so I've slept on it and given it a lot of thought. I think it's worth a try so I'm going to give him a chance but call the engagement off, lay down some ground rules and see how I feel in a couple of months (is it ok to do that?). If he ever does anything like this again it will be over. Does that sound fair?

This is your life, doll and if this is what you feel will be the best thing to do then go ahead and give it a shot. What we think is none of our business.

[AnnonymousMan]

If I do give him another chance does that make me weak? If I do end it for good how do I deal with all his crying because it makes me feel bad and I end up feeling sorry for HIM!

Does he cry often as a means to make you feel bad and forget what he has done? If so then do not believe his bullshit. Giving him another chance just reloads his gun since he missed you the first time. I would personally give him another chance, but I strongly suggest you make him pay suffer for awhile until you feel that he has learned that you do not cheat. If he thinks he can cheat and easily get you to forgive him he will do it again so be harsh.

[bcgirl]

Ok, so I've slept on it and given it a lot of thought. I think it's worth a try so I'm going to give him a chance but call the engagement off, lay down some ground rules and see how I feel in a couple of months (is it ok to do that?). If he ever does anything like this again it will be over. Does that sound fair?

I really don't think u have it much thought. A couple days of thinking is nothing. Human emotion is messed up. Usually it's a cycle of anger, then sadness because if the "good memories" and love etc and loneliness is how most ppl end up into the arms of the cheater or abuser. Perhaps u should take two months apart from him to really evaluate whether u should marry this man. If u do decide to go back to him u either have to forgive him and go through therapy or whatever or leave him.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Dilema, you're dumb. When he does something similar again, please come back here, so I can scoff.

[bcgirl]

Why is he so stupid as to tell you? He is an idiot. I would keep shit like that a secret till death lol. It is obvious that he wasn't thinking about you at the time in his drunken state. Have him checked for STDs because he might not of given you the entire story.

It's because he didn't want her to find out through a third party like catching an std or from one of his buddies etc. everyone knows prostitutes are more likely to carry more diseases than non prostitutes so he was probably damn worried and anxious this whole time about catching something and probably passing it off to his wife. He but the bullet and confessed because he saw the perfect opportunity when she asked him jokingly. It was the less stressful confession than that of the op coming onto him for sex and he keeps saying "not tonight hunny" for the next two months till his std tests come out clear

[Wakeup]

They're regulated and checked regularily in Amsterdam because prostitution is legal so No, it's not more likelily that he'd catch something from this prostitute. Its far more likely that he'd catch something from someone like you used to be than he would from an Amsterdam Prostitute.

[Wakeup]

Dilema: Here's a link that may help you further with your situ. Take it for what it's worth. (just googled "Who's more likely to cheat again the confessor or the one that got caught")

http://madamenoire.com/51807/sorry-he-cheated-or-sorry-he-got-caught/

[bcgirl]

They're regulated and checked regularily in Amsterdam because prostitution is legal so No, it's not more likelily that he'd catch something from this prostitute. Its far more likely that he'd catch something from someone like you used to be than he would from an Amsterdam Prostitute.

Not true. Prostitutes have sex with whomever will pay them. Men that pay for sex can be the glossiest truck drivers scumbag type who have sex with anything. Prostitutes will still blow them for the money. I had very high standards of cheating. The men I picked never had a clue I had a bf and were looking for something long term. I am very attractive, smart and can put on quite the act and therefore can have my pick of any man i choose i wanted. also i wore protection at all times. prostitutes don't have that luxury, they are often drug addicts who would screw anything to feed their addictions. If a John decided to pay more without condoms, then I'm sure many would take it. Yes Amsterdam does check ups on their working girls, but a girl can have 10+ clients a day. If the John right before had something gross and she sucked him off without rinsing her mouth and then sucked op's bf off.... Well there is a big chance of catching something.

[PurleaseeeeeGF]

Is every cunt on this forum extremely attractive?

[Wakeup]

Jeeezzus BC... we get it.. you were a cheating skank who is now reformed. That does not make you an expert on every prostitute or those that use their services..Nor does it mean that the one's in Amsterdam do what you suggest. When you are being checked regularily and you are practicing safe sex then one's chances of catching an STD/STI are less than a person who is promiscuous and NEVER gets checked. It's just common sense and logic... and, unless you blew them with a rubber on, you were certainly no more or less cleaner that the ho's in holland.