Arguments are capable of ruining a relationship. When there is a problem involved within the relationship, the last thing you need to be doing is arguing with the person you love and the person who loves you.

Typically, with arguing, brings anger and hurt feelings because instead of communicating in a more civilized and progressive way, we call each other mean names, make each other feel bad, and nothing resolves from doing so. Our words are very powerful.

Depending on what is said during an argument, can destroy the self-esteem of both involved. It can ruin the feelings you once had for each other. Events remain in the back of our minds forever. Especially meeting someone you fell in love with and then in turn he or she hurts your feelings. Thoughts and words can permeate into your mind to where you could possibly believe that you are as low as that person made you feel or as great as he or she could have made you feel.

No one wants to be yelled at or ridiculed or complained about, but the problem needs to be fixed. You must remain mature and understanding towards conflict. The two involved can either yell and scream at each other about presumed short-comings, talk about the actual problem in a loving and compassionate manner, or cut the ties, if the problem just can not be resolved.

What often happens is that the two people involved have used improper and ineffective communication for so long that they are so hurt by what the other has said and that it can not be resolved. Sometimes, there is too much damage made against each other through disagreement. If you’re reminded by someone all the time about how unhappy you make he or she feel, you start to feel like you can’t make anyone happy. In a sense, you’re being brainwashed by their words.

To those who have been criticized, you may not enjoy it, but you have to accept what other people are going to think of you. And you may not like what your love thinks of you, but you can either truly accept what he or she said and/or thinks or leave.

If you really love each other, anger shouldn’t be involved. Anger is not involved with love. I wouldn’t want to hurt the person I loved by anger and I wouldn’t want my lover angry. There are many other ways I can express how I feel my love has possibly hurt me, if I even decide to mention it at all.

Because I would never want my lover to possibly feel inadequate.
No matter the scenario, I would make sure I treated he or she the way I would want myself treated.
In any conflict, in any kind of situation. You should always say how you feel, but I would always try and make sure you truly mean the way you feel.

If you confront your lover on a problem, make sure the problem you are having is the actual problem and solve it. You solve problems by talking about them. And when talking about them, I would suggest to disengage and refrain yourself from the following:

1. Raising your voice
2. Name calling
3. Physical abuse
4. Bringing up conflicts from the past
5. Making a point to make the other person feel guilty or wrong
6. Keeping thoughts inside

A couple is capable of being together and in love without arguing. I have seen and felt what a relationship was like without arguing and those relationships turned out far more successful than ones I have experienced with the constant arguments. Don’t feel like you have to yell or scream to get your point across, but to speak calmly, compassionately, and honestly will do that for you. I refuse to be part of an argument. I discuss and at times I can become quite passionate about what I am discussing.

Calling people names will only hurt someone’s feelings. Placing your hands on someone will only end out in pain.
The past is the past and lovers do not dwell on the past, for if they do, they do not truly love who is there presently.
It’s not anyone’s right to make anyone feel a certain way or control their mind.
Never keep your feelings inside because they will only eat you away. For years they can and will stay.


Via: Logan On Love