Ìs he honest ?

[julia123]

Hello everyone,
I already posted about this guy before, telling you that there was some time since we heard from each other. We'll now we have contact again, after we have been on dates and hanging out beginning of fall, and hardly talking the last two weeks. Everything is really relaxed and I feel comfortable and happy whenever I am around him. I do not take him for the guy who has long-term relationships as he has a lot of affairs. Right now it is just nice to spend time with him I am not looking for something serious, I just do not feel comfortable with beeing one in ten he is dating at the same time. However he told me that I am pretty much the ideal girl, he makes me compliments about my appearance, the way I express myself and my humor. But then again he is casual, acting as if he has no real feelings and the fact that he is kind of a womanizer.
Do you think I just imagine that he might actually thinks I am a sweet girl he enjoys to be with, or do you think this is rather an act he puts on to get into a girl's pants?

[Maple1714]

Who knows if he is sweet talking you or not, but the real issue here is do you have real feelings for this guy? If you aren't looking for anything serious then why does it matter what his meaning or intentions are behind his words? You say you don't want to be 1 in 10...so don't be. Sounds to me like you do like this guy...and yes, you prob. are currently 1 in 10.

[bcgirl]

Sounds like you like him more than just a booty call. He's gunna end up breakin your heart if you fall for him.

[Wakeup]

You need to ask for exclusivity if you don't want to be 1 in 10. If he won't give you that, then you should tell him to stop contacting you because you don't want to be 1 in 10.

BTW: He's not "acting" that he has no feelings for you.. he doesn't have any, well except the feelings of movement in his pants. It's far too soon for you to expect that he has feelings for you, particularily if you are one in ten.

[priya23]

I think you are right so don't think about it.

[julia123]

thanks for your advice, but as said, I enjoy being with him and he makes me feel good about myself and relaxed. but not wanting to be one out of ten is just due to normal human jealousy I think, I want him to think of me as someone he enjoys spending time with too, wants to have around him every once in a while and have a good time with. .. kind of like a friend

[Wakeup]

^^ sure ya do. O.o So are you saying that you'll settle to be one in 10 then?

[Boisdevie]

Have the big 'are we boyfriend/girlfriend' talk. And you say he is kind of a womaniser. What on earth does that mean. Has he told you? Is it the word on the street?

[julia123]

no I do not want to be one in many, just.. I do not know not his girlfriend but still somehow special to him. Like a best friend or whatever..
I just have the impression that he is a womanizer because he knows what to tell a girl to feel special, he is quite confident and he told me he ended an affaire a few weeks ago, that was when we were already talking every day and hanging out..

[Wakeup]

he has a lot of affairs.

All at the same time or he has had lots of relationships that just didn't work out?

[PradaChanel]

If he really wanted to he would make time for you. I remember when my boyfriend start drifting a little bit and the calls,texts etc was few and far in between. I didnt even sweat it. I was like okay I will just drift too. I'm the type of female that I expect time and it needs to be made for me and I feel like if someone REALLY wants to be with you then they will make time for you. Anyway, once he seen that I wasnt making time for him either then he got back on track. Try to do what I did and if he still doesnt make time then you already know what it is.

[julia123]

PradaChanel, that is one of the best advice I got so far, thanks a lot! I know, thats common sense but hearing someone actually doing it and it worked is different!
But his newest behavior is to answer some messages and then not replying at all.. Shall I show him, that I do not tolerate that behavior and ignore him when I see him at university?