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Thread: feel like i will never love again

  1. #1
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    feel like i will never love again

    I fell inlove with a boy who was mean and two faced, but also very sweet and cute at times. Yeah, I'm aware the relationship was bullshit, but nonetheless I still think about him to this day-- two years since we've last spoke. He already dated a new girl for a year, which was longer than we lasted. We were in an on-off-again relationship for two years and met on new years. Point is, I still invested a lot of myself in the relationship and was EXTREMELY heartbroken when it was all over. I'm better, not looking to get back in the relationship. I tried dating another boy for about a month and a half, but it ended sourly because of misunderstandings. I'm starting to feel like there's no way I could have the feelings I had for my ex for anyone else. I feel like it takes too much time to put yourself out there just to be stepped on and like I could never find a guy I was attracted to physically who would also treat me nicely emotionally/mentally. Maybe I've always been the problems in my relationship.? Clearly everyone else manages to make their relationships last, except for me.

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    And your question was?

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    Am I ever going to meet someone that I like, but that shares a mutual attraction? Will I ever have a relationship that works out?

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    Quote Originally Posted by waves View Post
    Am I ever going to meet someone that I like, but that shares a mutual attraction? Will I ever have a relationship that works out?
    Of course you will...how old are you? You just have to get out there and find someone. If you are a confident semi-attractive girl/woman and you go out and socialize, then it's not really that hard.

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    Quote Originally Posted by waves View Post
    Am I ever going to meet someone that I like, but that shares a mutual attraction? Will I ever have a relationship that works out?
    No you won't if you continue moping about it. Romeo isn't posted in the club or on a horse riding along to your house right now. He is out there waiting for YOU to make a move. Nothing will ever fall into your lap or come free like that. You will never find someone that you like and who shares a mutual attraction unless you start searching for him. As for the relationship that works out, it might take several guys to find this. But this is reality so accept it.

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    It's comparatively easy for you; it'll sound sexist but you're a woman. Women can get dates and find love considerably easier.

    Guys like myself will have to wander the corners of the spherical earth (seriously, who came up with that stupid idiom?!) to find out there's no hope.

    Make the first move; us guys LOVE when that happens.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Love'sReject View Post
    It's comparatively easy for you; it'll sound sexist but you're a woman. Women can get dates and find love considerably easier.
    I haven't had this experience. Finding dates is easy, finding love is just as hard as it has ever been.

    OP, why did your first relationship end? Why did this short one end? It's entirely possible that you simply need to work on yourself for a bit and stop looking so hard. I've found that when you move quickly, things get messy, especially when you are still stuck in the past.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Hotaru View Post
    I haven't had this experience. Finding dates is easy, finding love is just as hard as it has ever been.
    Statistically and logically thinking, obviously the more dates you have, the more likely you are to find love and women can get dates with ease.

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    the problem is you're settling for the wrong guys. You need to step up your game if you want to attract quality men.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Love'sReject View Post
    Statistically and logically thinking, obviously the more dates you have, the more likely you are to find love and women can get dates with ease.
    Not necessarily. Number says nothing for quality but that's neither here nor there.

    Sometimes I think people just blatantly miss what's actually going on. I've heard plenty of men say they can't get dates but they're also some of the most arrogant people you could meet. They'll complain that they can't find a good girl but what they mean to say is, "I can't find a model who is also X, Y, and Z." So they either end up with no girlfriend or a bad one.

    That's just the pattern I've seen repeated. I've seen women do the same thing, though. Everyone seems to complain that they can't find love but few stop to think about where they're actually looking.

    Quote Originally Posted by Call Me Maybe View Post
    the problem is you're settling for the wrong guys. You need to step up your game if you want to attract quality men.
    This is what I meant about quality vs quantity.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Hotaru View Post
    Not necessarily. Number says nothing for quality but that's neither here nor there.

    Sometimes I think people just blatantly miss what's actually going on. I've heard plenty of men say they can't get dates but they're also some of the most arrogant people you could meet. They'll complain that they can't find a good girl but what they mean to say is, "I can't find a model who is also X, Y, and Z." So they either end up with no girlfriend or a bad one.

    That's just the pattern I've seen repeated. I've seen women do the same thing, though. Everyone seems to complain that they can't find love but few stop to think about where they're actually looking.



    This is what I meant about quality vs quantity.
    Let's put it this way; the average woman could probably get 4-5 dates a week. The common man might get 1 or 2 and consider himself lucky.

    100 dates vs. 4-5 in the same timeframe means the woman is far likelier to find love.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Love'sReject View Post
    women can get dates with ease.
    This logic is two faced. You see women "can" technically get more dates with ease but the fact is they choose not to. The easier they make themselves the easier it is for them to attract the wrong type of guys. This is why generally speaking, the flip side of it, is women want men to work for them so they can find out who the decent guys are that they can have a firm grip on. Meaning that in reality, it is actually easier for a man to get a date.

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    What?! No, they want us to work for it because we're supposed to be obedient little dogs. It gives their egos major boosts. Women have it easier, especially if they're hot.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Love'sReject View Post
    What?! No, they want us to work for it because we're supposed to be obedient little dogs. It gives their egos major boosts. Women have it easier, especially if they're hot.
    Eh, I wouldn't say ego boost. I think it is actually an insecurity that they are afraid of losing him so they want a tight and firm grip on him so they know he isn't going anywhere. This is also why when leaving a man, women want a firm grip on another guy before letting go of the other. They are weak and insecure.

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    I know it doesn't feel like it now but you'll eventually find someone else. You just have to believe that it'll happen and keep your heart open. You also have to get out there and
    meet people whether that be joining a club, at church or online dating. As someone said, he's not gonna fall in your lap or knock on your door.

    You aren't alone in your thinking either. I think many people can relate to those exact same feelings. I know I can so don't fret too much over it.

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