Why does a guy I dated think it's weird being around me?

[yoyobabe01]

I dated/hung out with this guy for like a month over half a year ago. He ended it because he just happened to live 4 hours away and did not want to put the effort in. He, in general, was not the type to commit and would always go to whatever is the better option for him (whether it is me or his friends). He would sometimes ditch me to hang out with them. Right before he left school for the semester, I told him I did not want to talk to him all summer because it was too mentally exhausting. He respected that, but it only lasted a month. We both confessed we missed one another and talked more over the summer. I ended up dating someone new during that time.

As the school year arrived, he started talking to me less. Whenever I would see him on campus, he would say he wanted to see me, but when the time came, he acted as if we never talked about it, go hang out with his friends, and he was not even happy to see me. By the time the semester arrived, we stopped talking.

We are in the same student (how we met) and now in the same job as teacher assistants for a class for freshmen. During this semester, I would only see him every week at meeting but we would not even acknowledge one another and I even lost my friends I met through him, which I know is quite normal to occur.

This past week, for our job, we have to go to biweekly meetings and I had to go to his. I said hi when I saw him but our conversation doesn't last long or anything. He wrote a tweet saying that it is weird going to a work meeting with his ex and should not date a co-worker again.

When I saw that, I was thinking he should not even worry about it since it was so long ago and we did not even date very long. He is not very experienced and has never had a girlfriend before either. I do not even consider him my ex!

Why is he still taking this seriously or why does he think it's weird being around me even if we see each other every week and we have not even talked?

[basilandthyme]

If I remember rightly, at this work meeting you neither acknowledged him or made eye contact. And you're still not talking. Him feeling extremely uncomfortable in this awkward environment is perfectly understandable.

What I find strange is that you don't understand why he feels this way.

[yoyobabe01]

why is he...? i still have no idea

[basilandthyme]

Because of your appalling manners!! Acting as if he isn't even in the room is just so childish.

As work collegues, the very least you could do is present a show of civility.

[Cerby]

Guys are a bit different, we take break-ups and post relationships a different way. We don't want to be friends, we don't generally want to talk to you (unless we still have feelings), and for the most part once a relationship passes, there isn't a friendship to save. I don't speak on behalf of all guys, but I'm sure many feel the way I do.

[searock]

I don't think it has to do with guys or girls... people are different. I know guys who want to stay friends, and girls who don't.

Yoyobabe, we answered on the other thread you opened on the same subject already. He experienced your dating in a different way than the way you did. Maybe, to him it was more serious than it was to you. Or maybe he is just uncomfortable because you deliberately ignore him when he's in the room: this option is the most likely, as basil said.

Instead of avoiding eye-contact or not talking to him, just treat him like any other person you're working with. If he still feels awkward after that, it's his problem and not yours.

[basilandthyme]

Instead of avoiding eye-contact or not talking to him, just treat him like any other person you're working with. If he still feels awkward after that, it's his problem and not yours.

Yep. Great advice.

[Wakeup]

She's already said hi to him "but their conversation doesn't last long" so keeping that up is futile IMNSHO. Yoyo... just take your lead from him. If he says Hi then you say Hi back. If he ignores then you do the same thing.. and for goodness sakes stop thinking about him and asking questions about him so much. If it was just a quick thing you had with him that fizzled out as quick as it started then you don't do either of you any favors by always trying to anaylize it.

I said hi when I saw him but our conversation doesn't last long or anything.

[searock]

You're right Wakeup, I missed that part. I agree with your advice. I also think that if Yoyo is obsessing over this thing, to the point of opening two threads about it, it must have some significance to her that goes beyond simple curiosity. I mean, Yoyobabe, why do you care what he does (as I asked you before)?

[yoyobabe01]

because he was perfect

[searock]

So you want to date him again? Why don't you tell him??