What will he think of my crazy family... help.

[Lulu]

My long distance boyfriend surprised me with, "I am coming to stay with you for a few weeks; through Christmas and New Year". Well.... we have known each other for a little over two years and committed to each other for a year. This will be his first time meeting my daughter who is fourteen. That is a big deal in itself but in addition- Christmas! That means he will have to meet my family who is crazy... my dad has schizophrenia and makes inappropriate comments and mutters about money problems all the time, my mom is loud mouthed and ridiculous and has a wart on her nose and my sisters are alcoholics and their kids are cute but rambunctious! I have only told him about my dad's illness and he knows my sisters drink alot but when he actually meets them I worry he won't want me anymore. ALSO- he hates cigarettes and my parents each smoke at least two packs a day and my sisters smoke too.... I am a nervous wreck. Any advice???? Please help me... I worry that he will see me in a different light now and maybe think twice before settling down and reproducing with me now!

[basilandthyme]

Well, short of you disowning your family, this had to happen sometime. And if not with him, with the guy after him.

If your truly believe your family is so dysfunctional as to scare off any prospective partner, you may want to think twice about staying in contact with them.

[HeartIsAching]

I worry that he will see me in a different light now and maybe think twice before settling down and reproducing with me now!

I would think twice about settling down with someone who concealed so much from me. Any sane person would. I think you need to prepare yourself for that.

[Fruitsss]

R u serious? hahahahahhaah sounds like u r joking. So far that i had to look if your name was Lovereject. hahahahhah

If its real its sad thou.

But first off i dont believe in internet relationship. i think those are just chat buddys.
and u barely know them.

What can u do , its your family. If u ashamed other people will be 2.
Do you live with them?
U can tell him way before meeting them how your family is and that he dont have to take them
serious. And for shore u will have to kind of protect him if your family get too out of line,
by saying something or leave with him.

cause sounds like to much to take especially for someone that barely knows u.

[pcmaster]

Chill out - just say him they are hippies. Be relaxed because if you gona be wreck its will be even harder for both of you. Tell him everything upfront so he will be ready and maybe even surprized that its not so bad as you told him. Two years is enought so two weeks wont be enought to completly make him chance his mind about you.

[Lulu]

We aren't internet buddies- we me over two years ago when he was doing work where I live.

He is a great man but he has strong opinions and can be a little judgemental- which is a part of the worry...

You can't help who your family is! I do love them because they are all that I have but it isn't great to be around them, that is for sure. I will just have to tell him that they are a little dysfunctional, I guess... I just hope he still wants to be with me after he meets them....

[basilandthyme]

We aren't internet buddies- we me over two years ago when he was doing work where I live.

He is a great man but he has strong opinions and can be a little judgemental- which is a part of the worry...

Or you can find a partner who is easy going and non-judgemental. This would solve all your problems.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

I don't think it will be a big deal. He doesn't see you very much it sounds like, so he'd see them even less.

[IndiReloaded]

It's part of who you are. Either he accepts you for who you are, or he doesn't. What you do after that will be clear.

Did he announce his visit, or ask? I found that part of your post somewhat disturbing. Especially given you have a teenage daughter who he has never met before. 'Several weeks' is a long time. Personally, I would never subject my child to this kind of visit for this length. I would suggest he stay elsewhere and you introduce contact gradually.

[aahna agrwal]

Actually try to feel him comfortable with your family.basically he does not much involve with your family. And you can not ignore your family so feel him as usual cool and comfort with your family.

[Guybrush]

You said he will stay for a few weeks. You mean (A) stay with you and your crazy family every day and night for a few weeks, or (B) stay with you and your daugher and occasionally spending a dinner and evening for your folks?

Big difference!

If your relationship is strong, or developing in that direction, alternative B should be fine, as long as both of you are prepared to laugh about it in between encounters. Alternative A sounds likely to end with homicide by the end of the season...

[Lulu]

No- he is staying with my daughter and I. I have known him a little over two years. I do feel like I know him well enough and would trust him around my daughter. I just don't feel like I am good enough, I guess. Sucks. Why couldn't my family be "normal"??????!

[aforester]

Honestly? This is perfect. It provides a setting for you to see how committed he actually is. That is not to say he doesn't have the right to be a little freaked out, but if he really loves you then he'll come through it just fine. No worries.

[vashti]

No- he is staying with my daughter and I. I have known him a little over two years. I do feel like I know him well enough and would trust him around my daughter. I just don't feel like I am good enough, I guess. Sucks. Why couldn't my family be "normal"??????!

No one's family is "normal"... I bet his isn't, either. Some people are just better at hiding their craziness.

My family is crazy, too. I love them, and they helped make me who I am. Your B/F is the "outsider". Let's hope he cares enough about you that he cares what your family thinks of HIM.

[aforester]

I agree Vashti.