should I break up with my bf who calls me names?

[TheSaint]

Wrong, moron. Name-calling is emotional abuse.

See the irony in this post?

No wonder oprah is a billionaire. You're all ****ing mental. Must be great to live in a utopia where nobody ever swears, or loses their temper, or if they do, you must pack up and leave immediately. The advice given in this thread is beyond ****ing retarded.

The term "emotional abuse" was invented by therapists, to part mongo's from their money. I can understand how women fall for this bullshit, but the dudes in this thread should be embarrassed. I'm cringing for you.

[TheSaint]

The OP doesnt want to live be with her bf anymore, fair enough. Everything else said in here is complete shite.

[Hotaru]

IMO, it depends on the situation/context.

Fighting - both yelling/insulting, whatever; shouldn't be a regular event, if it is, you should probably just break up or figure out a way to handle the relationship better, if possible
Abuse (or bullying if you don't like the term "abuse") - one person putting the other down for pretty much no reason on a regular basis

You also have to remember that not everyone reacts to such things the same way. Something you say to one person might result in an argument but if you say the same thing to another person, you might find yourself missing a few teeth.

However, having said that, I don't think we really know much about the OP's situation except what he says to her. We don't really know if she's part of the problem or not. Either way, if you have to ask "Should I dump him?", the answer is pretty much a yes just because you're already wanting out in some way anyways.

[HeartIsAching]

No wonder oprah is a billionaire. You're all ****ing mental. Must be great to live in a utopia where nobody ever swears, or loses their temper, or if they do, you must pack up and leave immediately. The advice given in this thread is beyond ****ing retarded.

The term "emotional abuse" was invented by therapists, to part mongo's from their money. I can understand how women fall for this bullshit, but the dudes in this thread should be embarrassed. I'm cringing for you.

Nah, you're just a douchebag (irony again) that likes stirring shit up. What bugs me about it is how you interfere with real postings on the site. When you troll regulars that's one thing, but when you actively get in the way of actual advice, you're damaging the forum.

[TheSaint]

Nah, you're just a douchebag (irony again) that likes stirring shit up. What bugs me about it is how you interfere with real postings on the site. When you troll regulars that's one thing, but when you actively get in the way of actual advice, you're damaging the forum.

While we're sharing what pisses us off. You done 12 months therapy and you think it qualifies you to give advice about "emotional abuse" etc, and anyone that calls you on your obvious shite, is a "troll". You and cerby are one and the same. Sanctimonious cock suckers that try and give off an aura of wisdom and experience, but in reality, you are just a pair of pricks on the internet, much the same as myself. The difference being, I dont try and pretend otherwise.

Your actual advice is pish, so if I get in the way of it, I dont give a **** if it damages the forum.

[HeartIsAching]

I think I will start reporting you every time you tell that lie. It'll be fun making you make new accounts.

[slswee]

Thank you for your advice. He does throw things back at me every single time when we fight. he calls me names and says he does it because I pisses him off. I really hate it when he does something wrong and then says I cause him to do it when I confront him. This always makes me speechless and feel super painful inside. Right now to break up with him and move out I need to find a apt to move in first, with a thesis due in 2 weeks I'm super stressed out and feel very helpless. These few days I've been going to school and stay there really late so when I come home he'd already be asleep. I try to avoid any conflict with him, I feel like if we have another fight I'd broken down.

The concern here is that you're bringing the break-up in as a conversation piece. You have the strength to start (which is the hard part), you just need to follow through. When you bring it up, he throws it back at you and pretty much says it is your fault that you want to break up. It may be, it may not, but at this point, it doesn't matter anymore. You know what you need to do, so the conversation should be one sided. Start it off with "I want to break up, and I've made up my mind about it." From there, the conversation will go into pleading, begging, maybe crying...you need to get through all of that to come out better on the other side. Also, breaking up WILL hurt him, but that is the unfortunate, but necessary, reality.

If you are concerned about your physical safety, I recommend one of two things: 1) Do as I recommended above and leave when he is not around, or 2) Call a friend or family member and explain to them that you're going to break up with him, and have them call you back in 15 minutes to ensure you're safe. It needs to be someone close who CAN come and check on you.

[slswee]

we have been fighting pretty regularly now, esp these past few months, it has become a weekly thing, sometimes twice a week. it's getting more and more intense. we yell at each other (which is pretty bad I know), and he calls me names and insults me, this makes me extremely angry and makes me speechless. the first couple of times he called me names, I was able to calm down after a little while and tell him that he shouldn't call me names. Even though we fought and we were both angry, there should still be a boundary of what you can do during a fight. But every time when I said that to him, he said he called me names because I made him really angry. Now after so many times, I start to lose faith and the pain is overpowering my love for him. I am not sure whether I still want to work on the relationship or just turn away.

IMO, it depends on the situation/context.

Fighting - both yelling/insulting, whatever; shouldn't be a regular event, if it is, you should probably just break up or figure out a way to handle the relationship better, if possible
Abuse (or bullying if you don't like the term "abuse") - one person putting the other down for pretty much no reason on a regular basis

You also have to remember that not everyone reacts to such things the same way. Something you say to one person might result in an argument but if you say the same thing to another person, you might find yourself missing a few teeth.

However, having said that, I don't think we really know much about the OP's situation except what he says to her. We don't really know if she's part of the problem or not. Either way, if you have to ask "Should I dump him?", the answer is pretty much a yes just because you're already wanting out in some way anyways.

[basilandthyme]

A quick tip for your next relationship: if a guy calls you names DON'T DISCUSS IT. Just leave - no conversation required.

[aahna agrwal]

Yes if you don't like the way he calls you then it is better to get break up. Or sometimes it also happen that he just tease you. So once talk to him and tell him what you feel. If he does not get your problem then move away from him.