Need Tips on Letting Go and Moving On

[love&otherdrugs]

I'm confused. Why are you blocking him instead of deleting him from FB?

I understand that your work is social media, but surely that wouldn't require you to have access to his personal info.

I've deleted him already, but he posts things publicly, so I can still see everything, whether or not I'm friends with him. The temptation becomes too great when I don't block him, since he comments, likes, or is tagged in posts from mutual friends. It just seemed like blocking him was necessary since my willpower isn't currently strong enough to defeat my curiosity.

[Barbarisa]

Be honest with yourself, as it takes time to move on, but - once decided, you have to work on it. Imagine your life in a similar situation 10 years ago, would not having a social media access to his info make it easier to let go? Well, things have not changed much really, since although we do possess a fancier bunch of ways to learn about and interact with others, it is You that is in control of the on/off button. Focusing your thoughts on something else will certainly help...push yourself a little to take some time off from the whole experience....a good break can set some things as intended too. Remember, relationships have to make you a better and happier person than before, and if something did not work out, there had to be a decent reason for it. Maybe the fact that your match is someone else among the 4 billion men

[love&otherdrugs]

Focusing your thoughts on something else will certainly help...push yourself a little to take some time off from the whole experience....a good break can set some things as intended too. Remember, relationships have to make you a better and happier person than before, and if something did not work out, there had to be a decent reason for it. Maybe the fact that your match is someone else among the 4 billion men

Thank you for this advice. One of the hardest parts to cope with is that I WAS a happier person when we were together. I was the happiest I had been in such a long time, and I suppose I was blinded by love into thinking the feelings were reciprocated on his end. He helped me get the job I currently have now by helping me build up my resume correctly and encouraging me to demand the money I deserved. I will always thank him for that, but I feel like social media has literally become a way to stay attached to him the only way I truly can. We haven't talked in over 3 weeks now, and neither of us have made any move to try and contact the other person.

It's disheartening to know he hasn't tried to contact me, and we're going on a month of no speaking this next Thursday. I know it's probably "for the best" as everyone keeps saying, but I guess it's just a bit hurtful to me to know I wasn't worth it in his mind to go out of his way to see how I'm doing or what's new with me.

You're right, though. Maybe that in itself is the reason that this isn't working out: he's incapable of truly loving and caring for me in the same capacity as I had for him.

[Barbarisa]

Well, the question the is - would you want someone like that in your life, incapable of loving?

Also, 3 weeks for a man may not seem a lot...you may still have an opportunity to talk things through, which is a fine thing to do, only that you should remain honest with yourself and him....If you were the happiest with him....that makes him sound as the reason for happyness...that is powerful, but not healthy - what happens if he's gone, you fall back into feeling less happy? That is quite demanding responsibility to someone you want to date - keeping her happy....and people get tired trying to cheer folks up ...Learn how to be happy at all times, worry about setting your lifegoals straight, and I GUARANTEE that you will find someone worthy of you.

[love&otherdrugs]

Well, the question the is - would you want someone like that in your life, incapable of loving?

Also, 3 weeks for a man may not seem a lot...you may still have an opportunity to talk things through, which is a fine thing to do, only that you should remain honest with yourself and him....If you were the happiest with him....that makes him sound as the reason for happyness...that is powerful, but not healthy - what happens if he's gone, you fall back into feeling less happy? That is quite demanding responsibility to someone you want to date - keeping her happy....and people get tired trying to cheer folks up ...Learn how to be happy at all times, worry about setting your lifegoals straight, and I GUARANTEE that you will find someone worthy of you.

You make some powerful points, and some that I'm definitely reminding myself to consider daily. You know what's so weird? Just after I posted that last reply, he emailed me. Go figure.
His email:

Subject: Hi

Hey S***,

I just wanted to say happy holidays and I hope you're doing we'll. Your stepmom has my prayers, I hope she's okay.

Don't feel obligated to respond to this. I hope this doesn't upset you but I just wanted to wish you a merry Christmas. Take care of yourself.

J****

How ironic that I was just ranting about his not wanting to contact me. You're right about it becoming an overbearing responsibility, though. I'm sure that weighed on him, whether he realized it or not. He was pretty much my sole source of entertainment, happiness, and strength. I didn't really realize it until after we broke up. It IS unhealthy, and so now I'm trying to make my own life for myself, that way if/when I find a future relationship, it is an added bonus and happiness in my life, not the sole source of it.