What should I do?

[Kayden]

Hey everyone, I'm new here and just hoping I'd get some good advice of what to do.

I'm currently in a very intimate relationship with my girlfriend for over 6 months now. We both are 18 going 19 and in college. She's Chinese and I'm English (Her mom could only speak Chinese which is hard). There is a possibility my girlfriend will either study abroad to another country or just another state close by after completing her A-Levels. As for me I'm studying locally (Petroleum Engineering) as I'm of foreign descent and I won't pay so much more extra just for the sake of studying abroad.

As time went by, my girlfriend would come over my house from time to time and being the naive teenagers we are, we have a monogamous protected sexual relationship (Neither of us forced it, it just happened). Ever since I started college I've picked up bad habits like drinking, smoking and clubbing. With the aid of her, I managed to quit the habits to make her happy. We really love each other so much and I'm planning to work really hard for her because I want to get married to her (I know, may be too young to decide yet, but I'm positive about this.)

Now the bad part of this relationship is her parents doesn't really like me all because I made one big mistake. I went over to her house with my parents acknowledgement to help her out with her stuffs which was already pretty late, around 10 PM. After helping her out we decided to watch a movie in the living room along with her sisters awake too and we didn't realize the time flew by all the way to almost 3 AM! So I headed home. This was a few months ago. Just recently her dad brought this up and deemed me as an undisciplined boy and isn't up to his likings. Because of this her dad doesn't feel comfortable of her being around me anymore. I feel extremely bad and guilty about this knowing that his daughter has already been very far in this relationship without his knowing (My parents already know about my relationship and how close we were.)

I know of my wrongdoings and I texted her father an apology, telling him I'll take it as a lesson and I'm truly sorry about it. I don't know if I should approach him because he doesn't like me, I might give it time. Now I know it isn't right what we've done behind her fathers back, we didn't really cared what was going around, we just wanted to be together. I'm a very confident and knowledgeable man, I do little jobs to get gifts for my girlfriend, and I worked so hard for this relationship. I don't know what is the right thing to do now and all I need is some help and advice of what to do. I really love her and I wouldn't wish for us being apart to happen. Please help me out here!

[aaron43]

You are 18 and 19. Her father doesn't or at least shouldn't rule her life.

Wow you sat in the living room watching a movie till 3am. Its not like you were screwing on his couch. He will never accept you because you are not of Asian descent.

At any rate who cares what he thinks. You are both adults

[Call Me Maybe]

man up and apologize to her father in person - not over text message. He probably doesn't even know how to read messages on his phone. Kids these days...

[basilandthyme]

Kayden, I think you're losing yourself in efforts to make your girlfriend happy....and I also believe that you'll never be accepted by her father.

I think it's entirely possible that you'll regret not having done the regular college lifestyle in years to come. Of course, there is room for balance, so providing that you're not falling over drunk, what's wrong with a few drinks and clubbing? Out of curiosity, are you still close to your college friends...or have you lost them because you've walked away from doing the fun stuff with them.

As for the father, sitting on a couch till 3am watching movies is hardly the end of the earth. (and yes, I am a parent of teens) You're trying to apologise to him, but do you REALLY believe what you did was so bad?

Lastly, fast forward to if you did marry this girl. Is how she was raised how you'd choose to raise your own kids? There's huge potential for marital crisis when it comes to the future and childrearing together.

[Kayden]

I think it's entirely possible that you'll regret not having done the regular college lifestyle in years to come. Of course, there is room for balance, so providing that you're not falling over drunk, what's wrong with a few drinks and clubbing? Out of curiosity, are you still close to your college friends...or have you lost them

I've been out clubbing and drinking a lot before I met her and during the early stages of the relationship but I myself lost the interest of blowing money in a club, I'd rather go to bars with friends, have a nice drink and chat. I noticed I have to be realistic and it isn't completely necessary to cut off my social life this way, it isn't doing any good and just deteriorating it. And no, I'm still close with my college friends, I know how to keep that balance in check.

As for the father, sitting on a couch till 3am watching movies is hardly the end of the earth. (and yes, I am a parent of teens) You're trying to apologise to him, but do you REALLY believe what you did was so bad?

Lastly, fast forward to if you did marry this girl. Is how she was raised how you'd choose to raise your own kids? There's huge potential for marital crisis when it comes to the future and childrearing together.

I myself didn't think it was much of a big deal as her dad made it, basically exaggerating for me. I don't know if they rely on archaic values or something but they can be very close-minded/have a narrow point of view on how other cultures live their life. They even stereotyped/generalized me on their own perspective just because I'm white. As for the fast forward part, my girlfriend won't be raising her kids that way, clearly she's suffering herself for having "agoraphobic" parents, being locked in the house all day. I talked to her about it that I'd want my children to have a taste of whats out there while teaching good sets of morals.

I really appreciate the replies guys.