My husband and I got together as children at the ages of 15 and 16. We were each others firsts. We have made many mistakes in our 22 years together. Curiosity killed the cat and about 12 years ago we started having relationships with other people or "swinging". This has caused many screaming and physical fights. We fought before this lifestyle change and now it's worse and we don't seem to have much in common anymore. I think our relationship changed drastically after the birth of our first son and we have not been happy together since. We have two sons involved, an 11 and 13 year old. I don't think I love my husband anymore. We both fell in love with the last people we were with for three years. They are now getting a divorce. I don't think we can repair things even though we no longer participate in that lifestyle. I want to be happy again. I would never repeat that choice and I think the fact that we made that choice shows there were big issues to begin with. We are both professional working adults who make good money and every other aspect in our life is good. I don't know what to do at this point. The thought of sharing my kids makes me ill but I don't think staying together is what I want to show them either. They deserve to know what a loving, joy filled home is like. I want to be with someone I feel like I love, I want to want to touch them and enjoy spending time with them. I do not believe in counseling.
Signed, Lost and Unhappy