first of all, I want to say thanks for all the responses.
I think it's very funny how I am being made out to be a bad person for 'asking about her past.' I should make it clear to you people that I did not ask her how many men she's been with. I don't care to know the intimate details, names, etc. We started having sex without a condom, so I wanted to know a bit more about her. I know not to probe too much into the past as it can cause problems. I touched on the subject very lightly, non-threatening, and non invasive, believe me. And I was open and honest to tell her anything she wanted to know. She lied about anal sex, and I understand that. I never tried anal sex and never plan to. That's not why I asked. And what the hell, if I'm dating a girl I can't ask her if she's tried anal? What is that? I want to know her likes and her dislikes. The thing is, she she said to me 'I don't have much sexual experience, can you teach me?' I mean, she totally presented herself as a different person, you understand what I'm telling you? Her denying she's done something is way different from pretending she's an innocent girl who's never tried anything. You girls get all upset about guys asking you about your pasts it's a sign to the guy that you have lots hidden. You seem to justify her lying to me because she 'feels ashamed,' so this gives her a right to present herself as a completely different person?? If she was abused, been through hard times, shouldn't she trust me enough to confide in me if she really loves me?
I did stand by her and support her through this. I didn't think she should 'do nothing about it.' I only say that I doubt she will have justice, or that these videos will ever disappear. I went with her to the police station!! In fact, if it wasn't for me telling her how she was treated and outting it in perspective for her, I don't think she would be going to the police on her own. So, because of me she is standing up for herself, and I think that has to good thing, no? So you can all say I am a bad person, an asshole, etc, but look at the situation I have been faced with, and how I have reacted?
I could have cut her off and not told her about her video, and it could be running for another two years... perhaps now the videos will be removed (as slight a chance as that is), or the guy will face charges, or she will get justice for this and feel empowered, better about herself, etc...
Yes, girls are young and naive, and sometimes they do stupid things. This was far from rape. She agreed to do these things. I've learned the guy was so aggressive with her in bed, so degrading to her, never took her to his home (only hotels), never met his friends/family, and pretty much met up made sex videos in a hotel for few hours, then they both left. For her to think this even closely resembles a loving relationship, I mean how stupid can you be? And how can you people call this rape? If she was so hurt by the way she was treated, she wouldn't go back to him and continue this for half a year.
I do have strong feelings for her, and I do care about her. But it's true that I will probably never get over this. I will never forget this. I will never take this girl seriously. I can't love a girl I have such pity and low respect for. Yes I shouldn't judge her, and I should understand, but no I shouldn't. She should be smarter than to let this happen to herself. I think I'm going to help her get through the court situation and cut ties.
I enjoy hearing what you all have to say and please continue to add on if you feel you want to..
How did I know some loser was going to ask for the link? Class Act