Need someone to talk to...

[xjessiebeanx]

My partner of 3.5 years just broke up with me. It was a lesbian relationship and i had thougt that i found the one. we have a home together, and sooo much together. she all of a sudden tells me the feelings arnt there anymore that shes not happy, not herself, loves me but is not in love with me. however, its going to be very difficult to separate with everything we have and to be able to afford it on our own without one another, so she is still kinda living her just coming and going and never staying when im here. nothing has been packed or moved its all just the same way it was.
we have been through alot in these past 3.5 years but have managed to get through. but now shes treating me like i never ment a thing and ignoring me and all. we were all eachother had and now i have lost my bestfriend.
i know that i need to try and move on butim not sure exactly how to do that. i just sit and cry and feel sorry for myself. when i do get out with friends or family i cant smile or seem to have any fun. im so lost and confused and hurt. i cant bounce back from this pain. i just need someone to talk to or give advice.
i do believe she left me for someone else and that is the worst feeling n the world! how can someone who has been with u for so long just stop caring just like that??
i know other ppl go through this everyday but i dont even know how they get through it. its hurts so much! how do u just get over it?
i want to text her every second of the day but i try not to. how to i heal? especially when i still have to see her?! i just wish people wernt so mean!!
why do i have to love sooo much!!

please help!

[xjessiebeanx]

i also cant seem to sleep or eat much and i just have this feeling in my chest where it feels like i just got the wind knocked out of me!

[searock]

How much time has passed since the breakup? If it's less than a couple of weeks, what you are feeling is completely normal. Especially since you're forced to still live with her. I'd say find a solution to your living arrangements as soon as possible - you need to be able to go no contact with her, in order to move on healthily.

[xjessiebeanx]

its been a week. and i would love to figure out the living arrangments but she doesnt want to talk yet.. shes not good at expressing her feelings or communicating and she just avoids or ignores me any chance she gets! its not fair to me and i just want her to care just a little!

[Wakeup]

Yes, you need to get another place to live: How do you get over her? Well the first and very important thing you should do is get yourself out of that live-in situation with her. Do you have family that you can move in with for the time being, until you're feeling better and able to find something that you can afford to rent on your own?

Staying with her is not allowing you to get to the stage of indifference (final stage of grief) never mind the stage of acceptance, which is the first stage to start you on your way to getting over her.

Why do you need to discuss moving out with her? She isn't your partner anymore, she broke up with you and you don't owe her anything except to tell her that you've made other living arrangements and you'll be leaving (insert date here). Then you go and you do not keep in contact with her at all. Pretend she died if you have to.

It doesn't feel like you will, or that you even want to find another partner but you will when you're ready. Thing is, if you don't take the steps to get past this, then you will just stagnate in your pain and unmotivation to find the girl that will be you're life partner. Your ex is not your life-mate... get out of that apartment asap and don't jump into living arrangements with the next girl that is lucky enough to win you over. Get to know who you are going to be sharing a bathroom with

[Bibi]

The breaking up surely shocked you, it was unexpected for you, but I think she might have been planning it for while. She has probably feeling this way for a while but keeping it to herself. You have to get out of the living arrangement you have with her. People say "out of sight, out of mind" and its true. The less you see her the better. After you are finished feeling sorry for your self you will most liekly become very angry, thats the best time to gain you confidence back and shake it off.
Hope you feel better soon.
regards