Ok you all need to know some background first. I'm 26 I have 3 beautiful children and am in a terrible relationship (the kids dad). He has always emotionally abused me, controlled me and basically beaten me down with words. I should have left years ago but I'm stubborn and I wanted to be a family for the sake of my kids. When I was 5 months pregnant with my youngest baby my boyfriend hit me during a fight...in the stomach... Thank god the baby was ok but it proved to me just how evil he is. Few months later again during a fight he hit me, put me in a headlock and spat in my face. All while i was holding our then 3 month old son. Things between us just keep getting worse and I'm now at a point where i just obey so i dont have to get into yet another fight because if I'm honest I'm scared what would happen if we had another big blow up.
We had sex a few months back and a few days later I realised i had 2 huge coldsores. Turns out they weren't coldsores but herpes (the STI strain). So now my suspicious have been confirmed of his cheating ways. Well I stupidly still stayed thinking maybe we could fix things for the sake of our children.
Eariler this week I randomly met a man. He asked for my number and something came over me and I gave it to him. We have been talking for hours on the phone, texting etc. I know its wrong and its bringing me down to my boyfriend's level but i cant help it. There's something about this guy I'm drawn to. It turns out we have a hell of a lot in common and we have this unspoken crazy connection. At first i thought maybe it was because I'm so desperate to feel loved by someone but I realise now there is so much more to it than that. He's asked me out on a date and I dont know what to do. My friends say go for it, if the date goes well break up with my boyfriend and see where things lead with this other guy. But even that feels wrong. I feel like im betraying my children by doing this to their father. I keep looking at them and thinking "I'm so sorry for what I'm going ot do to this family." But how can i stay with someone who treats me so badly? I'm so confused, someone please help!