What should I do?

[smackie9]

You sound vulnerable, and easliy swayed...guys like him seek out the weak such as yourself, suck you in so you can't get out.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Elsa, you are a ****ing stupid. What was the point of coming here if your mind is already made up?

[Wakeup]

I trust him. It is strange – but I really do. He was there for me when I needed help and asked for nothing in return. Our love is pure and powerful. I don't want to ruin it. Can't we experience love, here and now, without asking questions or making investigations? Can't anyone believe that if you feel something pure and honest in your heart you can just follow it? Why do I have to take the risk of losing my man?

As I said, proceed at your own peril. You are a players dream, darl'n.

[basilandthyme]

Can't we experience love, here and now, without asking questions or making investigations? Can't anyone believe that if you feel something pure and honest in your heart you can just follow it? Why do I have to take the risk of losing my man?

Ummm...no. It's incredibly stupid to follow our hearts without using our brains. I agree that you are a conman's dream.

[Starnique]

lololol. Silly broad.

[jolene austin]

I think the best relationships need to have effective communication which should include being able to talk about one’s past. I know that in the past I haven’t been as forthcoming as I’d like to have been, and that’s because there were some things in my past that I was ashamed of. I learned to close myself off whenever discussions of our past came up. It was a part of my life that I was done with and didn’t want to revisit, but it was still something that I owed my girlfriend, especially as our relationship grew stronger. Eventually, I felt comfortable enough to open up. I think I did so because my girlfriend opened up a lot about her and reassured me that whatever was in my past was long gone and couldn’t affect how she felt about me now. She didn’t pry but didn’t just let me excuses stand. After about six months she became my confidant and bearer of my deepest secrets.

[smackie9]

Wtf?..............

[HeartIsAching]

He is new... But I just find it hard to imagine such a man involved in criminal activity. He is special.

Betcha $100 he's glib, charismatic and smoooooove.

Prolly a sociopath.

[afekson]

I trust him. It is strange ¨C but I really do. He was there for me when I needed help and asked for nothing in return. Our love is pure and powerful. I don't want to ruin it. Can't we experience love, here and now, without asking questions or making investigations? Can't anyone believe that if you feel something pure and honest in your heart you can just follow it? Why do I have to take the risk of losing my man?

To me it's like he's keeping secrets. To create intimacy in a relationship both partner have to be transparent with one another. But on his own case he's not willing to. Find out what you need to know about him now or you both keep dating with secret which if later revealed might cause you pain.

[Lissy0404]

Sometimes is better not to know. In fact 3 ago when I started my relationship ( that already ended) I refuse to hear about his past girlfriends, it make me uncomfortable for some reason. Eventually, however he started sharing personal things from his past, and his life, and that happen after 2 years. It took him a while to open up. I never ask, or pressure him in sharing things he didn't want to. At the right time, he will tell you...

[Wakeup]

Sometimes is better not to know.

Never is it better not to know when someone won't even tell you where he was born and where he grew up. He won't even tell her that much. RED FLAG.

[afekson]

I have a boyfriend – I really love him! He is caring and sensitive, but he is not willing to reveal almost anything about his past. Actually, he told me that if I'd like to be with him I should not ask anything. He says: I love you and that should be enough. I feel a little funny about it. Some of my friends say that I am crazy to not ask him about his past, but I don't want to lose him. What should I do? I really need some advice.

If he truly loves you then he must be willing to tell you everything about his past. It's like he's keeping secrets which doesn't help your relationship. You both have to keep a transparent mind. This might help: http://www.aboutloves.net/closeness-and-distance-in-a-relationship

[pcmaster]

Thing is the mistery is atractive. Thats why hes so special. Thats what love is - mistery.

[dickriculous]

he told me that if I'd like to be with him I should not ask anything. He says: I love you and that should be enough. I feel a little funny about it.

You feel funny about it because you have been guilt-tripped. "I love you and that should be enough", "if you want to be with me you shouldn't ever question me"...both of these are classic guilt trip manipulations. He's trying to make you feel bad and like you are in the wrong for wanting to know things about him that he is trying to hide, and he's doing a damn good job from the sounds of it. I have to assume that he has other things to hide as well, an indefinite number of other things.

Reminds me of a few years back when one of my close friends suspected her bf of cheating and he told her "if you truly love me you will trust me and never accuse me of doing something like this ever again". She believed him. She came to me about it and wanted my opinion and I told her that the words "if you truly love me" are always followed by an agenda and an attempt to manipulate you. She told me to fukk off and then came crying to me about a week later when it turns out he was indeed taking her for a ride. I hugged her and told her it was alright, how sorry I was about her situation and etc. etc. did what I could to make her feel better and after she got over it I sat her down and told her "ok, now we're going to address the way you behaved toward me when I tried to help you" and she immediately apologized (which I appreciated because a LOT of people would absolutely refuse to admit that they were wrong in a similar situation) and we agreed that it would never happen again.

There are a few differences between your situation and hers but ultimately it's looking like slightly different means to largely the same ends. You would be wise to at least consider how her story applies to yours and try to see how you could be on your way to making a very similar mistake.

[dickriculous]

Elsa, you are a ****ing stupid.

I believe you meant to say "you are ****ing stupid"....genius