Woman comes over to my place...

[Icebat]

Hello everyone. I need some advice.
I'm a late bloomer and I am very inexperienced. It's not that I'm ugly or anything, it's just that, to make a long story short, I barely have any experience with women which makes me insecure around them.

Anyway, I met a girl who is my age (30). She's pretty and nice to be around with. At first, we just saw each other to do casual stuff like having a drink, going to the theaters, go to a restaurant together, etc.
I started feeling more for her after a few dates and just told her how I felt: I told her I started to get more feelings for her.
She said she didn't feel that way. At least not yet. She told me she had the feeling we were too different to each other and wasn't sure of it yet herself. She did say she was picky about what man would become her boyfriend but she didn't really completely rejected me neither. It's hard to describe but it left me with a feeling of "she said no, but she didn't totally close the door neither"

Anyway, we continued seeing each other. Just last week, I asked if she would like to spend an afternoon wandering in another city. You know, just some local city-sighting. She said ye and we planned it on last Saturday, but since the weather was really terrible last week she asked if it was ok we would simply go drink a hot chocolate milk together in our hometown.
We did that and it was fun. We spoke and laughed and chatted.

We started talking about the movie Skyfall which she wanted to see. We planned to see it in the theaters one night, but it was already fully booked so we ended up watching another movie.
She said last weekend that she still wanted to see Skyfall.

So a few days ago, I sent her a message asking her if she'd like to come and see Skyfall over at my place since I was planning to acquire it as soon as it would be released on Bluray.
She replied "of course! I still haven't seen it! it's a good idea". I told her I'd let her know as soon as I got the movie but that we'd probably see each other before that anyway. We're still planning to go do some local city-sighting.

Now I'm confused. I'm terrible at interpreting signals from women. A few months ago she kinda said "no" when I told her about my feelings, but didn't really completely shut the door.
And now this... all my friends say she's probably into me and simply wants to get to know me better before eventually starting a relationship. And they say that if she said "no" last time, it's probably because she felt it was too early and we didn't know each other well enough yet.

You, from an objective point of view, how would you interpret this? Is this totally innocent and nothing's going on, or do you think she might actually be into me or at least try to find out who I really am to see if a relationship is possible?

[dem862]

In general, women are more comfortable being friends with men than vice versa. If she doesn't see you as relationship-material or lover-material, she will still enjoy your company as a friend. I think she tried to tell you this at the beginning. She was subtle and diplomatic because she didn't want to hurt your feelings. The feelings you are having may just be lust, since you apparently haven't been with a woman in quite a while. If you are happy being friends with her, continue what you are doing, but don't be deluded into thinking it is more than it is.

If however you want to develop a sexual relationship with this woman, several months is more than long enough and it is appropriate that you should make your move to at least kiss her to determine where you stand with her. She probably has expected this for some time, so don't feel shy or uncomfortable. She apparently enjoys your company, but there is no way to tell if she is open to more than that unless you try.

[Boisdevie]

Perhaps she's feeling lonely. Perhaps she likes the attention. Perhaps you're the best thing around until a guy comes along that she'd like to have sex with.

[Wakeup]

Icebat, do you pay for all these dates you go on with your friend? I think you should do what dem says and kiss her when you have your movie night at your place, if she doesn't let you, then consider yourself firmly placed on the Friends Ladder (google Ladder Theory for more info on your placement) and quit paying for all your outings if you have been. You don't pay for your male friends outings do you?

[Icebat]

Icebat, do you pay for all these dates you go on with your friend? I think you should do what dem says and kiss her when you have your movie night at your place, if she doesn't let you, then consider yourself firmly placed on the Friends Ladder (google Ladder Theory for more info on your placement) and quit paying for all your outings if you have been. You don't pay for your male friends outings do you?

I don't pay for these dates. Well I pay my part, but I don't pay hers. When we go have a drink there have been a couple of times where I'd pay for both our drinks and after that she'd pay for both our drinks.
But I clearly remember that the first time we went to dinner together, she said she insisted on paying her part herself because she doesn't like the idea of leeching from someone.

And I have been shackled in the friendzone with another girl for a long time. I had a giant crush on her and never realized she friendzoned my ass. I cut all ties with her and I won't let it happen again. I spent too much time in the friendzone for letting it happen again. I'm just not sure I sohuld make a move now... when a girl agrees to come over to your place, does that usually mean she's at least interested and maybe expecting some sort of move?

[searock]

It doesn't matter what she's expecting. Just make a move soon, or you'll end up in "the friendzone" yet again. She needs to know that you are interested in her not just as friends.

[Wakeup]

I agree with Sea. There is no point continuing on if you don't want to just be a friend so find out. Best way to do that is through actions and seeing how she responds (her actions) There is where her truth will lay. Then you can either advance the relationship or distance yourself from the friend ladder you've been placed on depending on how she reacts to your light advances.