I am a 31 year old woman, and I am seperated from my husband, going through a divorce. I am serious with a man that I have been friends with for 12 years, who is also seperated from his wife. We both prepared divorce papers a few months ago, waiting on the time that we could afford filing for divorce. Since then, I have sent the papers to my soon to be ex husband, waiting on his approval of the agreement that I came up with. As soon as I get his go ahead, I will file. (We are trying to do an un-contested divorce through the courthouse). My boyfriends wife lives out of state, and he has said that he has talked to her about filing for divorce, and she apparently said "show me where to sign" and then he mentioned mailing her the papers instead of waiting on her to be back in town, which is a great idea to get it done quickly. Mail her the papers, she takes them to a notery, signs and has them notorized, he then takes them to the courthouse and signs and files them. 30 days later, the divorce is final. My issue is, although the process is easy, he says things that makes me think that he is positive about divorcing her, but then he doesn't do anything with the papers. He asked me for a stamp to mail them, I gave him one...but nothing. All he has to do is text her, get her address and stick them in the mail and wait on her to mail them back. I know that I myself am not divorced yet, but I have done everything I can do. Now the ball is in my ex's court. As soon as he tells me he is fine with the agreement, we will set a date and time to meet at the courthouse and file. My boyfriend hasn't done anything. If he had done his side of it, and was waiting on her, I wouldn't have any issue with the fact that he wasn't divorced, at least then I'd know that he'd done what he could to get it done and that he was serious. What is his hold up? As I said, he says things all the time that makes me think that he does want to divorce her like...the other day he had a dream...he was telling me about it saying that he had dreamed that he couldn't figure out how to fill out the divorce papers and he said "I was afraid I'd be stuck married to her". Things like that, but...it just seems like he is procrastinating sending her the papers. They have been seperated for about 2 years, he has had ample time. He says he wants to marry me...but we cannot start our life, even THINK about getting married until we tie up the lose ends from our past. I understand that he was raised in a home that belives that divorce is wrong and I know that he hates the fact that he will be labled that way by his family. I know that is a big issue for him. But he has also communicatied clearly that his wife is not the woman for him, that they were not good together. But, since that is the case, why won't he just get it over with? I want to start planning our life together, but I can't do that with him legally belonging to another woman. I also grew up in a christian home where divorce is wrong, but it's even more wrong to live with a man who is married to another woman, even if they arn't together. I'd much rather be labled as divorced than be labled as living with a married man. I'm just so insecure about the whole thing. I'm worried that he isn't sure about divorcing her at all. As much as it would crush me, I wouldnt be able to stand in the way of a marriage. I won't be the reason that a marriage doesn't work. But, I want it done and over with, I want him to be totally and completely mine so that we can start planning our life and our family. So confused as to what his procrastination means...if he is certain that he wants to divorce her and if he is certain that he wants to be with me, why wouldn't he just make it happen as I've done? I've at least started the process! I can't handle having his wife hanging over my head constantly worried that he's going to change his mind about us and want to make his marriage work. What does this mean? Is his upbringing so ingrained that it could cause him to hold off on the divorce just b/c of that? Or could there be another reason that I"m not thinking of? Or is he just unsure if that's what he wants to do? Surely after 2 years of being seperated you'd know what you wanted...I just need some advice on what is going on with him and how do I talk to him about it?